deleting this, cant say anything these days...Its nothing anyone on here said, not at all, its an outside issue...
deleting this, cant say anything these days...Its nothing anyone on here said, not at all, its an outside issue...
Last edited by cocobambino; July 9th, 2009 at 07:18 AM.
It depends. Is this person a friend, or someone that thinks they are a friend? I'd probably talk to them about it first if that were the case. I hate the term dob, it conjures up all sorts of vindictiveness to me but thats just me (and not having a go at you thats what its called). If its a friend I probably wouldn't. But I would make it very clear I disapprove of what they are doing.
And I also don't know everyone's situation, some people get screwed with child support and all sorts of things and sometimes the govt doesn't do much to help. So I'm less black and white about these issues than I used to be. And DH paid over 40k in tax...
DF kindly suggested (during one of the arguments between himself and his ex where she thought she would use the kids as ransom) that he hoped she had advised Centrelink of her new 'situation' to ensure she isn't getting money she isn't entitled too.
Sure enough she advised Centrelink off her own back. Maybe it was because she didn't want him to 'have the last laugh' or some other reason. But in saying that DF wouldn't have dobbed her in (but his mother would have gladly).
As to who does the dobbing in, I think its best that it comes from the person who is receiving the money to uphold their integrity and update their details / circumstances with Centrelink themselves. Otherwise it could end in huge fights, accusations, which could affect the kids involved if visitations are all of a sudden ceased.
Totally agree... I would hate to see any child suffer for their parents indiscretions.
I kind of see it as, it's not my business, if their going to risk getting caught then they'll have noone to blame but themselves when it comes crumbling down.
You have no idea how tempting it is to "dob" in my partners ex, she's conning centrelink out of soooo much money. But it's not my business so i'm not going to do anything about it.
Plus as much as i don't like her, the extra money's she's getting is at least helping Dp's three yr old daughter Paige be better cared for financially.
My personal opion on the single parenting and living with partner. If I knew someone that was on single parents pension and living with ther partner/husband I would tell centrelink. But inregards to kids to different fathers I have no comment as my DH has different Biological Father to his Brothers. Sorry Hope I didnt sound rude
blah blah blah..i do appreciate all your advice..all of you,
Last edited by cocobambino; July 9th, 2009 at 07:18 AM.
I don't think how many different parents are involved is relevant to the Centrelink situation.
I 'knew' (and I use this term vaguely) this lady once.....she had 3 boys, lived with her defacto who has 2 boys, worked cash in hand, sold heaps on ebay and made a good $$$$ AND both claimed single parent payment. I asked her if she felt right doing it and she laughed at me and called me an idiot for not doing it.....so I got on the phone.
Yes i felt good picking doing it but I got angry when she told me that centrelink had come around and laughed with them about how odd it would be that her and her house mate could be in a relationshipyep...she got away with it, 3 times!
SO rather then get upset, listen to how well life was treating her and seeing what luxuries my hubby's hard earned tax dollar's were getting her...I walked away and felt the weight lifted from my shoulders
NO I may not be able to afford revlon mascara, a cartoon of cigarettes a week or rollups for my kids lunchboxes but then I have my dignity and a sense of pride![]()
A different spin on this.. Its a tough one for sure - I mean you want to do the right thing but....
If most of her kids are to different dads then technically - she is still a single parent. They aren't (all at least) her partners responsibility. The blended families rule is ridiculously ambiguous and usually ends up with whatever disadvantages both of you. I have always told them about changes in my circumstances, but it would hurt us. Such as my DHs maintenance payments. They included my kids for his expenses everywhere... but the Child Support Agency. What irked me the most about it was - even when we had our own kids, after child support the division of his remainding wage between him and our children was less per week than he was paying to his ex. This didn't include me at all despite me being on minimum PPP (thus him expected to support me) and definitely didnt include my older two.
And yes, we checked the way it worked out 3 times and questioned them twice about it. Apparently it was right. Just made no sense. More recently they told me I had to pay his child support out of my kids FTB because his business didnt make enough to pay him (he was unable to work fully waiting for carpel tunnel release surgery and centrelink didn't want to help out).
So no - knowing how horribly flawed the system is against step parents, I probably wouldn't say a word. The system says they have no responsibility to those children - so the system is saying she is still a single parent.
With friends like these... Sorry, but your last statement was pretty judging. You don't know their intimate circumstances, the reason for relationship break ups etc. Wheres the keyhole quote... I think Bath was linking it at one stage in her sig...
I've been faced with the same situation - to dob or not. In the end I didn't. It doesn't directly affect you? You're not handing them money, and dobbing them in isn't going to get you any more tax back.
I think Centrelink say they want people to dob frauds in, and yeah I get that, but yeah my personal opinion is that everyone gets what they deserve in the end.
i honestly think it depends on the situation, if he isnt earning enough money to support them all it can become very hard, when u tell centrelink u r living with ur partner they go by what he earns and they cut ur payment down accordingly so it can become very very financially hard, i know because i did the right thing and did everything by the book
I have to say you need to look at some very personal circumstances first.
I know someone who did it even though she was with her childrens father because he was abusive & took his pay & spent it before she could buy food & pay rent etc. If she didn't claim it her children would've starved & she would've been homeless. As it was she had no car & no food as he took alot of her money too.
These are things that may or may not be happening.
I also know someone who did it, but all their extra $ went to the pokies, not the kids, so her SIL rang them.
Its a tough call to make...
Look Courts - I know you have problems, I know things are hard for you but FFS. Why post about something, asking opinions and then start getting shirty when you get a response you didn't expect??
Why ask at all?
You have been given lots and lots of different perspectives. Who says you have to take direction from anyone? No one is telling you what to do.
I was coming in to give you some 'inside' information about how to go about it and effectively dob someone in if you felt thats what you wanted to do - but instead I shall quote back to you - BLAH BLAH BLAH...................
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