Just a side note on that too... unless you have spoken to CSA and made the agreed amount the higher amount, all it does it acrue the amount against your claim. It will not get forwarded onto the other party unless you are behind in your payments... Something you might not have known?
We pay to her not to CSA even though the amount is set by them... we asked if we could pay directly to the CSA and have been told in the past that she actually has to request this and if she does not, then we have to continue the way that it is. Sounds stupid really and i dont get the point of why we cant pay CSA and have to pay her - really it would be easier that way as then we wouldnt have to argue about it...

BG I have made DH read all of this and have left it up to him, i cant tell him what to do. he is feeling really torn at the moment, she is holding us over a barrel really.

We have a xmas holiday planned (we dont have him this xmas as he prefers to do one year one, one year off as he gets too upset changing familys mid way though xmas day ) we are limited when we can go away as we both work and can only have a certian time off.
She knows this- she doesnt work and she is just be difficult.... its awful, she just doesnt care about DSS - who incidentally wet the bed last night (he is almost 12) so we know things are starting to get to him again as he hasnt done that in ages... poor little thing.

Luckily we kept the text message that she told us that unless we signed an agreement she would not make any holiday arangement for him...