Thanks all
It's a company. The parent company (I think that's what it is called) is in both dh and my names. Then the trading company is in my name, I have no idea why that is.
We only claim fta and ftb, the child care rebate doesn't really matter mainly because I only plan on sending dd2 one or two days a week for this year.
Recording my hours of work, I'm kinda over there most if the day doing random jobs, setting up, cleaning, cooking, pretty much anything including some waitressing on the weekends (all of which is totally unpaid, I don't even get tips )
Now I have a feeling that is going to complicate things more :/

And bd, all good good to know we're not alone being confused and the more questions normally helps all