Ok wasnt sure where to put this (mods please move if needed) I just noticed it said newborn to 5 y/o....
Ok, My son is 3 y 9 months old. He's Totally uncontrollable. He's been an only child up until 3 months ago when our baby girl arrived and i thought things would get better but they havent.
He's constantly getting in to mischief, doing things he knows he shouldnt, yelling at us like were the children, not listening, and wow i could just go on all day. DP and i have tried evertyhing we can think of, Time out, talking to him about what he has done explaining the rules etc, sticker rewards when he's good, although i dont like it i have resorted to spanking at times, taking away toys, bribing the list is endless. DP and i have just worn out all options that we can think of. How do you get a child to behave when nothing seems to work.
Back ground:- DS had issues with his ears- not hearing but they would fill with wax and affect his range of hearing... We thought it was selective as he's respond to the usual.. Want a lollie...etc. but when talking it was like he's ignore us. We had that sorted out he has grommets tonsila and adnoids done. (he wasnt sleeping due to snoring etc...) He was having speach issues as a result of not being able to hear correctly and We thought things would improve when his speach did but he's just acting up more and more everyday... I have changed his diet as i noticed certain foods would make him more well overactive. we have noticed a small improvement but he's just so uncontrollable at times.
Dp and i are lost and losing patients very quickly... I'm struggling to cope with the 2... Any suggestions would be great... Thanks in advance
Last edited by Je$$_84; August 23rd, 2008 at 01:04 PM.
Have you thought about a Parenting seminar? They are really, really useful when it comes to dealing with nortiness, but also what you can expect from a 4 yo, and it gives you lots of different ways of dealing with the behaviour.
We did the same when DS was running amok, it gets both parents on the same page with everything, and can give you a bit of strength when you fell you have none.
My advice would be to always maintain consistency, always. It can be wearing at times but you just gotta do it.
There is Positive Parenting and 1 2 3 Magic - highly recommended.
One of DSs FAVE things was to stomp around or slam doors when I was trying to get bubs to sleep. You cant ignore that behaviour and presses all your buttons AT ONCE GGRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Jess, I also have an uncontrollable 3.5 yearold son, although he does seem to be improving his behaviour lately. With a new baby around your son's probably jelous which isn't helping either.
I was told to increase Omega 3 levels, I now give my son a little squirt found at pharmacies every morning and night and have limited his sugar intake, although this has proven to be quite hard, everything contains sugar
I've also found that resorting to a smack seems to be the only way to get a response, I've been told it's quite normal and it's also to do with him being a boy, they're more outgoing and physical. For us it's been a shell shock as our daughter was so placid, compared to our son, although she seems to have school attitude at the moment!
I know it's daunting and I've spent plenty of nights in tears with his behaviour, his bedroom has huge dings in the walls, where toys have been constantly rammed into the wall or thrown in a fit of fury! I guess looking at it now, it can all be repaired and I've spent huge amount of effort trying to explain that he can't throw things inside!
Funnily for us my son has always been a mummy's boy wanting cuddles at night and he has a sheety he takes everywhere. I've found with the improved behaviour that the snuggles seem to be less and less. I wonder if maybe he's been reaching out to find his place in our family and is now feeling comfortable within his own limits!
Lulu2- I never thought of doing a class... i will definatley have to look into one... Its getting DP to come that will be the challange...
Snoopea- Glad i'm not alone. Will definatley give the Omega 3 a go... I have been giving him camamile tea to help calm him down but it doesnt work all that well... Good for bed time (makes him sleepy)
He's been the only child for so long and after being told we couldnt have another he was quite spoiled by MIL and i guess DP and i let him get away with things... DP and i are standing firm and united to try to get him sorted out, but as i said not mush working at the moment. When summer comes back i'll see if i can enroll him in some outdoor activities or something to try to vent his overactive mind and body... I know its worse cos he's couped up in the house and yeah my time is now divided. I try to plann activities but when he acts up i feel like its rewarding him doing these special things???
He's growling, and being nasty, yelling back. running wild. Will definatley look into a parenting class or some kind of help. Thanks so much for replying again.
Lulu2- ROFL... i know its not funny but the things they say its hard to keep it all in.... My DS started pooping himself when sent to his room.... GRRRRRRR!!!!
I figured out he didnt know if he was allowed out to go to the toilet... Now he runs out tells me "Mum wee/poo " i have to say "quick go then" he stillisnt sure if he's allowed to go...
Sounds so frustrating, but normal for the more tight wound souls. Matilda is/was very similar. She has food reactions, she has an allergy to cows milk. Also we found juice... apple juice was the worst offender actually is horrid. No matter if there is no sugar added or not. It was like giving her an injection of hyperactivity and uncontrollability. So no more apple juice or orange juice in our house as well as milk. Its water or funnily enough natural confectionary co lemonaide. She has no reactions to lemonaide Go figure.
Anyway... I second what Lulu said about the parenting course. If anything it helped DH & I get on top of things & work on it together & be consistent for her. She responded better when we were the same everytime.
Unfortunately for us, Matilda doesn't respond to pain LMAO.... she laughs at getting smacks or running into walls. The other day she ran into the side of a truck!! She wound up with a huge purple lump on her head, and all she did was shake her head and keep running .
The other girls have summed it up and given some great suggestions.
I will just add that my son has some hearing dificulties and it was really beginning to impact on his behaviour. He still has tendencies towards naughiness out of frustration.
What eventually worked for us, like the others have said, was absolute and utter consistancy between me and my DH. And also we used his "currency" which is music CD's in his bedroom, and Wiggles DVD's, and his books. If he misbehaved, straight away, I would turn off the DVD/or move his CD player out of his bedroom to the garage or remove his books from his bookshelf. VERY quickly, he "got" that the boundry had been crossed, & we saw a massive improvement really quickly. (It wasn;t easy, but it was quick. I felt mean and nasty, but it worked.)
I have two boys and a girl, my first boy was an Angel always did what he was told and was so placid. My number two boy came along and from the very beginning he was a challege to me. He is so mischievous, into everything and just does not listen to instruction. If I went mad on him he would get worse. I have come to realise I have to repremand him but without yelling and use things like time out etc.. He is now 3.5 and is getting better, but consistency is the key! You have to do the same thing everytime be right onto them. Find out what their currency is, as it is different for every child and it may change. It is tiring but it will work, but it does take time. In regards to the pooing and weeing in the room when they get into trouble, I too had this problem with him. I discovered a spot in the corner of the room behind a cupboard where he would go and wee when he got into trouble. My son's share a room and my older boy caught him pulling down his pants and weeing on the floor just after he got into trouble. I realised that he was doing it because he was angry with me and he knew this would upset me. So I got out an old nappy and made him clean up the wee himself. We then got out the mop and mopped the floor and put the old nappy in the washing machine. He complained the whole time and I told him everytime he did a wee on the floor he was going to be the one to clean it up. I asked him why I should do clean it when he was the one doing it on purpose. He has never done it again.
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Misbehaving Son Almost 4y/o
GGRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Go figure.
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