You are all lovely, but no-one can fix the unfixable for me, i just needed to vent. Jan 16 roll on

and if you have a lovely partner, be grateful, they are a rare and special breed.

Yes Butterfly Dawn, the patterns of behaviour now, also contributed to me having to leave, two years ago.
Butterfly Dawn, tis ok, you haven't offended me at all.

Many great suggestions from many lovely people.