Why are my girls like this-I need some serious advice

[Lulu]

I do it by stealth...

Get one absorbed in one thing (tv, blocks, drawing), then quietly grab the other one and start an activity down the end of the house, but usually I give them little housework jobs to do with me.
Generally, the older one likes to get stuck into something interesting, but the younger one does all she can to thwart him, knock things over etc. So I say sympathetically - 'here, I'll get her out of your way darling" and he is thrilled to be left alone..

I only get about 30 mins each time, but I break up the day as much as I can. Sometimes I even pit the little buggers against each other to see who can pick up more toys at cleanup time

Although now DS is more patient I'm looking for activities that will have them working together to achieve things so they can appreciate each other more.

[Bathsheba]

Sounds like you need some "back up". Your girls sound a bit like my boys at the end of the day. Most of the time they are ok... but during the witching hour (6 - 7pm) they act just as you described. I'm worried my older 5yoDS is going to break my 2yoDs's fingers in a slammed door one day!

One tip is to be aware that children of that age still reflect the mood of people around them. If you get agitated (I KNOW how hard it is not to!) then they will get worse. What I find works best is when my Dh comes home from work. in a good mood, not too tired and creates a fresh outlook. He calmly diffuses it by using distraction "hey who wants their bath first? They'll get the biggest bubbles!" while encouraging the other one to do something somewhere else (Lulu's 'divide and conquer' strategy is great!).

Personally this is where a member of ones extended family should be stepping in... an aunt or uncle to say; "hey, calm down, listen to your mum". Us poor mums have a bad deal these days... kids just tune out too quickly because we do it solo for too long. JMO.

[cocobambino]

Sounds like you need some "back up". Your girls sound a bit like my boys at the end of the day. Most of the time they are ok... but during the witching hour (6 - 7pm) they act just as you described. I'm worried my older 5yoDS is going to break my 2yoDs's fingers in a slammed door one day!

One tip is to be aware that children of that age still reflect the mood of people around them. If you get agitated (I KNOW how hard it is not to!) then they will get worse. What I find works best is when my Dh comes home from work. in a good mood, not too tired and creates a fresh outlook. He calmly diffuses it by using distraction "hey who wants their bath first? They'll get the biggest bubbles!" while encouraging the other one to do something somewhere else (Lulu's 'divide and conquer' strategy is great!).

Personally this is where a member of ones extended family should be stepping in... an aunt or uncle to say; "hey, calm down, listen to your mum". Us poor mums have a bad deal these days... kids just tune out too quickly because we do it solo for too long. JMO.

We have no family that lives around here unfortunatley, I wish we did coz i could do with someone taking the girls every now and then.

[Bathsheba]

I find that even when we have a freind or family member visit that my kids are better behaved... we don't have anyone to 'take our kids for a while' either but every so often someone will come over and visit which helps a bit. My kids have an uncle who is a primary school teacher... he's great... he just has to ask the kids whether they have heard me and they slow right down. He doesn't lecture them or anything.

Are your girls better when you take them out? Or do they fight in public as well?

[cocobambino]

I find that even when we have a freind or family member visit that my kids are better behaved... we don't have anyone to 'take our kids for a while' either but every so often someone will come over and visit which helps a bit. My kids have an uncle who is a primary school teacher... he's great... he just has to ask the kids whether they have heard me and they slow right down. He doesn't lecture them or anything.

Are your girls better when you take them out? Or do they fight in public as well?

They dnt so much as fight in public, they get into mischief together like running off or pretending to cuddle and knocking each other to the ground, picking everything up, yelling and jumping around

[tattoo_mama]

hmm sorry i havent got much adivce, expect to say i HAAAATEd my lil sister when i was a kid (actually probably til a yr ago when she got mature, im 22 shes 17) and spent most of my childhood making her miserable and her dobbing on me in turn making my life suck cause i was getting in trouble. i can only just tolerate her now she still does my head in but were both still alive and my mother isnt completely insane haha

[angelaartsstudent]

I know this doesn't help but my sister and I are 13 month apart. We've never got on very well and still don't.

There have been some shocking fights as children and my parents sometimes just dealt with it like this becuase there was nothing else they could do:

sister (crying): Amanda hit me!
dad: Well don't annoy her. She's bigger than you and therefore hits harder.

The other week the family was all in the one spot (sadly for a funeral) and people were asking my mum if sister and I spend time together. She basically said "Yeah, right!".