Willingness of another mother to let her live there!

[fionas]

That's great Tanya - I think definitely keep the lines of communication open with the other mum.

Also, teenagers can come up with all sorts of "great ideas" that never come to fruition. When DSD was 14 she announced that she was going to leave school at 16, get youth allowance and move in with a mate. She's no longer in touch with that mate. We didn't' say that she couldn't - DP and I both moved out of home as teenagers so we weren't against it in theory, just chuckling to ourselves a bit that DSD thought that she could look after herself IYKWIM. So we just kept pointing out the financial and practical realities. Rent will be $x, bills will be $x which means you're going to have to earn $x and you're not going to have a hell of a lot left over for clothes/going out. I think that made her realise that she's on a pretty good wicket at home. Free board, meals cooked for her, pocket money, no bills to pay etc. etc.

A few months ago she announced that she wanted to take her new best mate with her to America when she next goes on an access visit to her mum (who lives there) at Xmas. They were all keen on that idea for about two weeks but we haven't heard any more about it.

If she does keep talking about it, I'd sit her down and without saying yes or no, ask her lots of questions about how she's going to cope money-wise, who will cook for her, how will she get homework done if she's sharing a room, what time will she have to be in at night etc. etc.

But I think keeping in close contact with the other mum is the way to go. As the others have said, you never know what stories she's been telling her (and the other mum may have been too polite to tell you in your first conversation).

[Catastrophic]

Hows your DD now tanya?

[Tanya]

Thanx for asking Cass
She told me a few weeks ago that she doesn't want to move out
She spends a lot of time at the firends house and apparently they are moving away come early next year. I spoke to her about her age and how she needs to take the initative and take responsablity for more duties around the house.... she was really good for about a week! LOL. She has become slack again but I will have another talk with her this afternoon.

Thanx again for asking
xx