Thanks ladies, I will persevere with this and start work tomorrow, although I have now a nasty cold (probably allowed myself to get run down from the stress of this!!).
Paisley had a terrible day yesterday so I'm not going to try to get her to sleep there this morning.
I think you are right it's worse for her if I'm there.
From our experience, DS settles a lot better once we've said good bye and gone. Some night he doesnt want to come home!
In the mornings where he is a bit more clingy the staff are pretty good and will pick him up, encourage us to lkeav quickly (the longer we stay the worse he can get) and then they take him out to the lay area so he can see us leave for work and he waves to the us in the car as we go out the driveway.
Obviously different centres have different layouts but the idea is more to have a system that works for you so your DD will know what to expect each time you take her.
Sneaking back in for a peek or calling to check on her is a good idea too, for your peace of mind.
when i started my DD at day care at 10 1/2 months she HATED IT! she didnt sleep properly, she cried a lot, it changed her behaviours at home a little as well. it is heartbreaking to think that you are psychologicaly damaging your child! BUT after a few months she really did get used to it. she crieds when i leave but she stops soon after i have gone. when i go and pick her up she is fine and runs to me. (though at the beginnning she would start crying as soon as she saw me which is qute normal for some children as well.) as she got older she got better and more used to it.
i work in child care too so i have dealt with it from the other end and it really doesnt bother me as a carer taking a crying child from the parent (i used to feel guilty leaving my screaming child for someone else to deal with).
- do you have a special toy, blanky etc from home that she can take with her>?
- i agree say good bye and leave quickly saying you will be back later (you can always hang around outside the door where she cant see you to see how long she takes to settle or you can ring the centre from work)
- can you book her in for a couple days BEFORE you start work, that way you can leave her there by herself and pick her up after an hour or to instead of putting her in for the first time on you first day of work and she is there for the whole day??
i reckon give it a month and re-assess how she is going if she is doing better give it another month and so on, she will be fine eventually. being at day care has really helped my DD become more independant and not such a 'mummys girl'! oh, and be prepared for her to get sick quite frequently!
Not quite an answer to your question but from a carers point of view
2 minutes of goodbyes = 2 minutes of crying
20 minutes of goodbyes = 20 minutes of goodbyes
or thereabouts. It obviously depends on the child. Some adapt really easily, some just don't cope with separation. You may find your little one copes without you there (sorry). In the end, has to be your choice how long you leave her to learn to settle in. As Lulu2 says - she's just being a princess - but it won't kill her.
I say to the parents of my unsettled one, if you can just stop around the corner out of site, you will hear that the crying stops within minutes. Always feel free to ring and check in. If you do pop back in to check in the centre, try not to let her see you, as this will just make it worse
Last edited by mollycat; June 25th, 2008 at 10:02 AM.
: typo
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