Hi all,

My DD who is 4 is currently in her 1st term of full time kindy (5 sessions per week) after a term of pre entry (1 session per week). I am having trouble with the kindy not being as welcoming as I would have liked- it just doesn't seem to be a great place to be. This is my first child at kindy, so I'm finding it hard to know what to expect.

Pretty much every day DD comes home with another story that seems unacceptable to me, however she is very stoic and says she enjoys going. I am not about to give her a negative impression of the place, so want to make as little fuss as possible. Although she is very boisterous at home, she is quite reserved at kindy. She is very intelligent, can read and write at a high level, and is very obedient of authority and listens to instructions. So for me, sending her to kindy is mostly about the social side and the chance for her to be creative, as we struggle to provide much of either of those things at home.

Examples of some of the things that have gone on are:
- on her first day of pre-entry I went up to the director to introduce DD, as she hadn't met the lady before and I wanted her to feel comfortable. The teacher barely addressed DD and waved her hand towards a table saying "there's playdough over there, go and do that". That was the only greeting DD received all day and I felt really awful leaving her there without a proper welcome with people she didn't know.
- I think following this DD had a few teary goodbyes to me, probably because of this issue. That is all sorted out now and she waves me goodbye happily.
- She is often left out of activities - the kids were doing a group activity where everyone had a teddy and they had to put it on the house, next to the house, under the house, etc. Every single other child had a turn and DD missed out. This has happened on more than one occasion.
- The kids are each given a folder where they do activities and place their work. DD has not had a folder made up for her. When DD asked the teacher (in my presence) the teacher responded that she can do that any time and was generally dismissive. DD didn't realise this meant she would need to ask during kindy time again.
- DD was asked whether she had brought anything for show and tell one day. Neither her nor I had been informed that she needed to bring anything. DD was very upset that she couldn't do her show and tell. None of the teachers mentioned after the day was done that she was to have done it that day.
- whenever I ask who DD has played with, she says she was by herself.

I have brought up with an assistant that we are concerned that DD may be spending most of the day by herself and being a little left out of things. The assistant ensured us this wasn't the case and that she would keep an eye out for DD. Since then I've noticed little improvement, apart from an over enthusiastic assistant.

In addition, today DD was hit and pinched on two separate occasions by the same boy. Once was during mat time, where I would have thought the teacher would have a good eye on all the kids. DD told the boy to stop, which he didn't do, but she didn't tell the teacher. I have told her now that she must tell the teacher straight away if that should happen again. I have written a letter to the teacher containing the details of this, which I will give to her on Friday.

I think that because DD is a good kid, is quiet and doesn't cause any trouble, she is just being left. In addition, the kindy is very multicultural and states that it has more than 50% of it's children who don't speak english at home. I'm thinking that these kids take up a lot of the teachers' time. I wonder whether DD is better suited to a different kindy, but think it's not worth pulling her out for 3 more terms.

Sorry for the length, but please let me know what you think!