My DS has just started kindy too and he is having a bit of anxiety, as he's a very sensitive child and things like this are often a challenge. He went to the same school for pre-kindy last year, but this year it's a new space, a new teacher and it's three full days. Last week he had a meltdown on the third day, and I took him home at lunchtime. Today he was obviously anxious about it again and wanted me to stay, so I ended up staying for half the day, and when I left him he was happy.

I know that the staff like to have quick goodbyes, but I know my son and I know that transitions make him anxious. If I can stay a bit longer and ease him into it, then he adjusts better and is less likely to have a meltdown.

I had my mum babysit my younger DS this morning, so I had the option of staying longer. I feel comfortable hanging around if it's just me, but I don't think that the teachers want a toddler along for the ride too.

So, I guess my suggestion would be to stay longer if you can and if you think that would help your DD to adjust. I said to DS that today I would stay until after the outdoor playtime had finished. Tomorrow I will stay for a shorter period, but always tell him when I will be leaving so he knows what to expect. Maybe you could ask her if she would feel better about going to kindy if you could stay with her for a while? She might be a bit happier if she feels she's negotiating it with you? The other thing that my DS's teacher has suggested is that we tell him he has to stay all day Mon and Tues, but if he would like to go home at lunch time on Wednesday, then that is his choice - to give him a feeling that he has some say in it all. Oh, and the teacher also called me when DS was upset and I spoke to him on the phone, which didn't help him because he was too hysterical at that point, but do you think it might help if your daughter knows she could speak to you on the phone when she's missing you too much?

I feel your pain! Trying to make everything ok for an anxious child is very difficult. I get really stressed trying to figure out ways to smooth DS's path through new experiences. I hope that she adjusts quickly, and starts to enjoy kindy. I do think it is important to make it work if you can, because as you say, it's school next year and then they just have to go.