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Thread: how long does it take to settle in?

  1. #1

    Question how long does it take to settle in?

    Now that Yasin is 2 DH and I have decided to send him to one day a week at childcare. He started last week and I'm feeling really ambivilent about it now.
    Last week he was OK when I dropped him off but they rang me at nap-time and said he was unsettled so I went to pick him up.
    This week he started crying as soon as I drove through the gates. I rang up before nap-time to see how he was and they said he had been unsettled on and off so I decided to go and pick him up.
    When I looked at the place it seemed really nice. The director goes to my gym and I quite like her and the children just let themselves into her office at will which I thought was a good sign that they were respected and comfortable IYKWIM.
    Now I'm not so sure but I'm also not sure if my feeling are affected by the fact that Yasin hasn't been enjoying it. I'm a bit worried that they're letting the other kids push him around and call him names. When I took him out today one of the other kids said bye-bye (in a nice way) and then another one said bye-bye baby Yasin (in a not so nice way). There was something about his tone of voice and the way he called Yasin baby (I remember from my childhood that at that age baby was a bit of an insult) that kind of rang my alarm bells. Also his yoghurt was missing from his lunch box but not all over his clothes which makes me suspect that someone else ate it. I know these are tiny things and I feel paranoid and over-protective saying them but I don't want to place Yasin in a situation where he will have to put up with bully kids being mean to him.
    I guess I feel a bit guilty because he doesn't have to go. I'm a SAHM and I just thought it would be nice if I had a bit of quiet time with just me and Imran and Yasin made some new friends and had some new experiences.
    The women who is in charge of him said that it would take a few weeks for him to settle in but now I'm questioning wether I'm doing the right thing or not.
    For those of you with children in childcare - how long was it before your baby settled in? do they enjoy thier time there?


  2. #2

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    Dach - When my DD started kindy she was about 3 i think? can't remember if we started her at the start of the 2nd school term or towards the end of the first term?

    Her first day, she screamed the place down. I left there in tears. I could still hear her as I walked out to the car, screaming "No Mummy" By the 2nd week she realised where we were going once I put her in the car with her port, and she started crying from that point on every week.

    It took until August that year for her to calm down.. about 6 months of crying and screaming. Though when I would pick her up she would tell me that she had fun today.

    I stuck it out because DD was going to pre school the following year, so I wanted her to have that interaction with other children before pre school started. Though, it didn't make it any easier when she was screaming.

    Does Yasin bring home any paintings/artwork that you could make a big deal of and show off by sticking it to the fridge? We found this helped with DD a bit. Maybe his paintings could be used for wrapping xmas presents (if he likes wrapping pressies with mum)
    We would try to talk to DD about what she had done that day at kindy. Had she painted, what did she paint? Did she learn a new song or read an interesting book?

    Did she have a good day? What did she like or not like about that day? These are still questions we ask and have a chat about every day after school.


    Nic

  3. #3

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    I dont have a child and i can just imagine how it feels when you see your child not enjoying himself but as a coordinator of a childcare centre some children do take time to settle in, some children can take a couple of weeks, some a couple of days, some months. I have children who have been coming most of the year been fine then started to get unsettled for no real reason but the crying always stops when mum walks out of the room and they go back to there happy selfs and walk off and join there friend..

    It can be very hard to see your child upset and not wanting to go but my suggestion would be to ask carers what he does at care does he play with the other children, do they play with him. I would then see how he goes maybe shorten his stay for a few weeks i dont know weather they talked to you about settling him in slowly ie. take him for an hour then pick him up, extend to 2hrs and so on over a few weeks..

    I wish Yasin and you all the best and i hope that it all works out.. Ps. Us as carers like as much feedback from the parent and dont mind answering any questions you might have..

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