Sam goes to daycare one day per week. My first impressions of the centre where that it was lovely and the carers were making a real effort to engage with Sam when we went to visit. He's been four times and there's just been something every week that is making me feel really concerned, and yesterday's was a big one.
Sam is nearly 14 months old, but is still wrapped to sleep. We're having some success with weaning him off it for night sleeps, but it seems to be the only way we can get him to slow down and stop enough to be able to fall asleep for day sleeps. He also has two naps each day still, but he also has a 9pm bed time because DH doesn't get home from work until after 6pm. His last nap of the day starts around 4pm, so the centre should be keeping him awake until I can pick him up (usually around 3:30pm). He has a dummy, but should only be having it for sleep - again, the centre knows this.
The first week wasn't too bad. I dropped him off later than I would normally, told them I'd be back around 3 but to call me if he was getting too tired and needed to sleep earlier in the afternoon. They didn't ring, but I arrived at the centre to an overtired, distressed baby who didn't stop crying until he was in my arms. Reports were that he'd eaten well, but hadn't slept very well. His bottles were rinsed out thoroughly and popped back into his bag. He doesn't sleep well away from home so I figured it would take some time for him to adjust to the centre to be able to sleep there.
Week two. I arrive at 3:45, the kids are outside being served afternoon tea. They are under a tree, but none of them are wearing hats. Sam's wrapped to sleep, but sitting in a pram. He's happy. But I'm told that he was tired, they tried to settle him to sleep but be closed his eyes for a minute but then woke up. I collect his things to find that he hadn't been given his second bottle, which normally happens around 3pm. I give him his bottle and then go home, but he seems happy and content so I'm not too stressed.
Week three. Sam gets unhappy and unwell due to teething. I get a call at 12:30 telling me he's clammy and sweaty and just unhappy in himself. I need to be on playground duty so I ask them to give him some panadol and I'll call them back in half an hour. I get back in from my duty and call them back and I'm told he's settled and happy. 3:30 when I pick him up, he's sleeping in a pram in just his nappy. I'm not overly pleased about him not being dressed, even less pleased when his clothes aren't in his bag and one of the carers doesn't know where to find them and needs to search... The sleep I can understand if he's not well. I take him home, give him a bath and some cuddles and we spend the weekend nursing him through a cold and finally see a new tooth arrive on Thursday. His bottles were rinsed as usual, but not very well and there's stinky formula residue left in them.
Week four. Swimming carnival for me, so I need to drop him off early, without him having eaten breakfast. I supply a jar of food for breakfast and he has a few spoonfuls but is just hysterical and distressed. I leave so the carer can calm him down to eat and cry all the way to the swimming carnival. I don't hear anything at all during the day, so I figure things were going well. I arrive at 3:15 to pick him up and again find him asleep - unwrapped but in a pram this time. His bottle is tucked in beside him as though he'd been given it to put himself to sleep - something we NEVER do. But most concerning of all - he was COVERED IN PAINT!!!
I'm told that he got into some paint while he was sitting next to one of the older children who was painting (why?) but I'm also told that one of the paint streaks is probably down to the older child painting my boy. We're not talking just a small amount of paint either. There's green and purple paint involved - a streak of each in his hair, a blob of green near his ear, purple on his chin and under his nose (virtually UP his nose) and on his dummy, purple paint all over his fingers (mainly around and under his nails). Green paint on his shorts and green and purple paint on his shirt.
I get told that "he didn't seem to like having his face wiped so we just left it". No child enjoys having their face washed or wiped, but I figure it's something that you've just got to do (otherwise he'd be running around with last week's dinner all over his face and just be generally gross). Hands as well, for a baby that age they still spend a lot of time in his mouth. They are obviously letting him have his dummy all the time (otherwise how was the paint only on it and around it?). The other thing I just don't get is why they insist on us sending two spare sets of clothes if he's going to get that dirty but still be left in his original clothing? His bottles were also not rinsed at all, so now I'm going to have to run them through the steriliser again.
I just don't know what to do at this point. I was too cranky and upset to say anything then and there, and I didn't see the director that afternoon. My heart is screaming to just take him out and DH can just not do his one day in the office and stick with working from home. DH is leaning more towards visiting them after work to speak to them face to face - I just don't know what's appropriate.
BW
Last edited by butterfly_warrior; February 13th, 2010 at 07:05 AM.
Sounds tough, it is so hard to leave your baby especially when you feel like they are not being cared for like you would like them to be.
For me personally i would have concerns about my 14 months old being outside with the big kids- at our centre the 0-2's have their own room and outside area, there are only 8 of them and 2-3 carers in with them at all times so there is plenty of attention. Is he sleeping in a pram at your request or because it is more convenient for the carers? I dont know if I would be happy with this either.
I guess only you can decide, but if you are not happy then don't put yourself through the stress of leaving him every week- I know how distressing it is when you just can't get back to your baby when you need to. Are there any other centres that you could look into or a FDC near by? Daycare can be great, don't let a bad experience with one, put you off using them all together.
BW, I can imagine your distress at these incidents, though I wouldn't pull him out just yet. I would maybe write down all of your concerns and talk to the director and the carer in charge in the room. Some of the things you mention I would think might just be 'one of those things'- there could be innocent reasons for some of the things happening.
Like when he fell asleep in his nappy in the pram unwrapped. Maybe he was a bit upset with new teeth coming and just settled in the pram that way so they left him there, and with him falling asleep earlier than normal, I would think he would be more tired than he would be at home so maybe he just can't make it til 4pm. But the other things, like not wrapping him continuously to sleep, and not giving him his bottle on time, letting him have his dummy if you have asked them not to give it to him. They are things they should be doing every time no matter what.
I would firstly take it up with the director and room leader. If nothing is done, take it the next step, to their manager, and then take him out. You will probably need to give 2 weeks notice anyway, and if you recieve and centrelink payments, you will need to take him those days to recieve it.
BW, I'm sorry I can't help you with any advice about FDC as I'm not at all sure of what it's like or what's appropriate or not, but as it's such an emotional thing dealing with leaving Sam and returning to work, and entrusting the care of your boy to other people (I know how very emotional I would/will be when DD has someone else caring for her) perhaps it would be a good idea to have DH speak to the centre about the issues. I'm sure his emotional reaction is there too, but perhaps because he's not Mummy and the one who has had such a massive change in their life happen and dealing with the emotions of primary carer/mummy becoming full-time working mum, he may be able to see all with an eye to make a really informed, logical decision based on their explanation. Not trying to say that you wouldn't be able to do that yourself - just that it takes the pressure off you when you're dealing with so much already - and allowing you to take a step back so that you can make the decision with him once he's able to tell you what they have to say about it.
In saying that, your instinct and your gut feeling about the place as Sam's Mummy is so important, so I know that once you hear their explanation you'll be able to weigh these two things up - your gut and their side of the story - and find what is right and comfortable, safe and well for Sam and your family.
I hope it works out soon, and that the transition smooths itself out as soon as it can. Thinking of you
I am assuming when you say day care you mean a creche/childcare centre and not a family day care (someone's home).
I would write down your concerns and bring it up with the Director or Manager. When he started you would have had to write down his routine, likes, dislikes and general information about his and your preference's. The main carer in the room should be familiar with that and discuss with you things that may have changed as they arise.
I think it a bit strange that he sleeps in a pram at day care centre?
They usually will strip little one's down if they have a fever and wipe them down with a cold face washer to bring the temp down.
The creche/child care centre DS2 goes to, the 0-2 kids have their own play area and the 0-1 in one room and the 1-2 in another room. The 1-2 sleep on matts on the floor if they are on 1sleep a day and cots if they are on two sleeps, the 0-1 in cot's.
The centre also has a no hat no outside play policy.
It would be worth you and your DH talking to the Director/Manager about your concerns so they can raise them with the carer's in the room and then go by how the meeting went as to what your next move would be.
Hope it all goes well...it can take time for little one's to settle into new surroundings
BW - I would not pull him out yet, but express your concerns to the staff. You haven't mentioned talking to the staff about your concerns, so I assume you haven't. From a carers point of view, I would certainly appreciate hearing your concerns and having the opportunity to work with you to fix them.
One day a week is not a lot for a child to settle into the environment, so talk to the staff, if they are a good centre, they will listen to your concerns and work with you without any problems.
Also, ask to see the centres grievance policy which needs to be followed if you have further issues.
its hard to find a decent daaycare these days maybe go in with a detailed written list of what bubba needs are and what is not beeing mett and if theres no improvment you will be taking him elsewhere
I thought DH was going to call the centre on Monday, but he didn't. So I called them this afternoon, and I'm feeling a lot better about everything now.
The director is on annual leave at the moment, which explains why I didn't see her on Friday, but I now know the names of the people in charge of the nursery and who to talk to if I've got problems.
I had a long chat with the manager today (who normally works in the 3-5 room and not on Fridays) and she was really shocked to hear that he hadn't been cleaned up and hadn't had his clothes changed. She said it was really unusual for a baby to have been left like that and she would be addressing appropriate procedures with the whole staff tomorrow because of this incident.
I'm feeling a bit bad because I don't really want anyone to get in trouble, but I also know that it's necessary to make sure that my son is being cared for properly. The manager even asked me to call her back next week and let her know how things go on Friday, so I'm feeling pretty confident that things will be dealt with and that it won't happen again. Still not feeling too great about leaving a hysterical, crying baby... but hopefully that will improve in time as well.
Don't feel bad, BW. You called the centre on things that they were clearly meant to be doing as part of their job. It's not about getting them in trouble - it's about ensuring that Sam is cared for in the way you expect, and that the staff meet the standards and expectations of their job - and it sounds as though the manager feels that it's time that all the staff had a reminder of what their job entails, which is a good thing. We can all get a little slack in our jobs from time to time, and it's right for people - especially those who it directly affects (or their Mummies on behalf of them) call them on it.
Glad to hear you're feeling better about it. As to leaving Sam upset at the centre - I'm sure the he will get used to it and come to really enjoy his day there - many parents of children that go to CC I know say that their kids love it and really look forward to it, especially after an adjustment period, which Sam is still clearly going through. Leaving an ill/teething bubba is always something that's going to be hard too Hope things get better as the weeks go on and Sam really starts to love his time there, and that you are feeling settled and adjusted too.
I don't know what to do
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