Montessori dilemma

[Strawman]

Hello all,

I have been interested in the Montessori model of education since I attended university and learnt about it (briefly) there. I have my one year old son on a waiting list for a Montessori primary school in Sydney. The elements I particularly like the sounds of with the Montessori theories are children being self directed in their activities, being able to work at their own pace, not being forced to sit at their desks for extended periods, active learning and not being lectured at and forced to merely copy things from the board (a large part of my education!), classrooms that are inclusive of all abilities, etc. I also like the focus on educating the whole child, not just pushing academic 'success' like most of the private schools I see in my area (both from experience and through work).

So I enrolled in the infant/toddler program this term and am finding the 'practice' completely different to the 'theory'. I'm not sure if it is just the director in the classroom or whether this is a typical experience of a Montessori infant/toddler program??

Firstly, I find that the director is incredibly bossy and directive with the parents constantly telling everyone what to do and what not to do (although she does not talk to the children like this). I have observed that the other parents seem to walk on eggshells around her - at one time she instructed a father to stop hugging his child when he was upset, but at the end of the class when the child got upset about something else and the father seemed to hesitate she told him to give him a hug. It was like the father had to wait for her permission before interacting with his child in a natural way.

With me and my son she will intermittently raise her voice and tell me to "use language!" when I'm working with my son on one of their little mats. At other times times she will yell out to "move out! give him space!" or "you're blocking him in!" I'm not completely convinced her hearing is the best considering she will often yell out at me from across the room to 'use language!' when I have been talking to him about what he's working on.

I find this director also gives me long lectures about some topic she finds interesting without asking or trying to engage me in conversation about what we are doing at home or what my child is already doing. I feel like she just assumes I know absolutely nothing about how to interact with my own child and she has to give me really basic instructions or else I am going to 'do it wrong'. I have found her completely condescending at times. Like when she felt the need to explain to me that my one year old son can "understand what you are saying" and proceeded to give me a lecture about that topic. Or when she felt the need to explain what "geometry" was to me... didn't even ask if/what I knew/understood about mathematics but felt the need to explain in great detail what triangles, squares and circles are. Thanks lady, maybe try telling my son since he can "understand what you are saying".

I find it practically impossible to get a word in edgewise with this woman (hearing again?? I don't know), she has never tried to speak to me about our family or what we do and when I try and tell her or talk to her about it, ask questions about something or other (or even try and tell her that I know what "primary colours" are) she doesn't even seem to acknowledge it or just talks over the top of me. And usually I just give up after a few minutes and just nod and don't say anything. I suspect that is how she likes it...?

I'm hoping someone can give me some feedback on their experience of Montessori schools in Sydney as I am feeling very discouraged with the experience I've had of it so far - we came to 'experience' a Montessori classroom and I have experienced little else besides criticism, judgement and not listening. On the positive side my son is enjoying the classroom and the activities.

[Cass72]

Wow. Needing permission to hug your child and being told to give them space. I would be outa there pronto!!

That just doesn't seem right. I didn't think that was what Montessori was all about?!

I was looking into Montessori for DS2 but, to be honest, it's just too expensive in the ACT. I did notice that when I was on the Montessori site they did say to watch out that the school you choose is actually "Montessori" certified and applied all of the practices - just because they have Montessori in their name does not necessarily mean that they are really a Montessori school.

BUT, if that's what they are all like, then I'm glad we didn't go that way....

[BellyBelly]

I'm with Cass, and they are not all like that... just a bad one I think

Montessori Schools - What Is Montessori Education?

[Phteven]

I was looking into Montessori for DS2 but, to be honest, it's just too expensive in the ACT.

Yarralumla Public School has a Montessori cycle for the first years.
Yarralumla Primary School | Montessori

[~ Mylitta ~]

My son has graduated from the Toddler room and is now in Cycle 1, and my DD1 is in the Early Learner's program. My experience is completely different to yours. Our Montessori school is a beautiful nurturing environment that allows each individual to direct their own activities and learning with minimal direction. Each time a child shows interest in a new activity they are initially shown how that activity is used, and after that they are free to use that activity when ever they want in the future. Most of the Montessori activities tend to "grow" with the kids, so as they grow and learn the activity becomes more complex for them. They are also mostly self-correcting, so when a child finishes an activity they will know if they have completed it correctly themselves.

The Directress in our Early Learners Program is an amazing lady. She loves the kids so much and they love her too. It makes our room so calm and industrious and just a joyful place for both the kids and the parent with them. If your program is not like that, then I would definitely suggest looking elsewhere, or at least see what the toddler room is like in case it is just an issue with one Directress.

Next term my DD1 might be moving up into Toddlers, and not long after that my DD2 will be starting Early Learners