We have used a combination of child care and grandparents and I think both have advantages and disadvantages. It depends on the child too. Both my boys love being around other kids and having stimulation, so child care has worked well for them both. They also enjoy spending time with their grandparents, but I think they find those days less interesting as they don't have much structure, or as many activities. I would love it if my ILs would do more craft and singing etc with them, but they find it tiring.

In terms of what they have got from child care, certainly it has helped their social skills a lot, they have both been early talkers and DS2 particularly toilet trained amazingly quickly and early from being around older kids. DS1 started kindergarten this year and the transition was so easy for him after being in day care so I think that's a huge plus. On the flip side I guess they do also learn some of the bad habits - DS2 went through a squealing phase that he picked up from the other kids - but realistically they are going to come across these things anyway and it has never been too hard to teach them what's ok and what's not.

So from my experience, I think child care is a good option for many kids. There will always be some children who don't do well with the group situation, so it's not for everyone. Often you don't know until you try - some kids can surprise you. Most kids will take some time to adjust, and I think more so as they get older, so it's best not to take them once and never again if they cry! Also I have found that kids adjust quicker if they go at least 2 days a week - a week is a long time for kids that age.