SAHM and LO in Daycare?

[UntoldAngel]

Just wondering if anyone here is a full time SAHM and sends their LO to daycare 1day a week? Why do you do it?

I have been considering it for DS next year, starting in the second half of the year when he will be 2. I will also have a DD (due November this year). DH doesn't see the point of sending DS to daycare if I will be home to look after DD. Is there any point? He has a number of cousins and family friends that he interacts with on a regular basis, and we also go to playgroup once a week, so socialisation isn't an issue. Is it selfish of me to want a day with just DD (and DH on his rostered days off)?

Sorry for the ramblings of a pregnant woman

[Kazzo]

My DD1 goes 2 days a week. She loves DC, if she did not I would not send her. I do enjoy having the time to spend with DD2 but sometimes I get bored when DD1 is not around too. Next year (depending if I go back to work or not, probably not though) I am going to send them both to DC but on different days. That way both Dd's have a one on one day.

[black_rose]

I send mine to daycare in the beginning I was a wahm but I only do the occasional day at work. All three kids go so I can juggle swimming lessons and spend one on one time with each of them, so the girls go twice a week and ds one, they love it and dd1 has made some close friends, I never have a child free day but it does give me time to myself when dd2 and Ds nap, finally finding the time to excercise and focus on me a bit even half an hour helps.

[fionas]

I started sending DD1 to childcare when I was pregnant and housebound (couldn't walk, needed wheelchair). At the time I was trying to buy and sell a house and I needed time during the day to get organised which was impossible when DD was bored, frustrated and basically in full tantrum mode.

We moved house to the country shortly before having DD2. If DD1 did not go to childcare she would never have seen other children in the early days. We've since been going to story time at the library, swimming, playground and gymnastics but really those things are more about the activity rather than about playing with other children so I think she gets something out of going to childcare. She's an extremely social little girl.

I will start sending DD2 to childcare, also for two days a week, next year when she's about 18 months old. That is earlier than I would like but I'm finding that I'm getting frustrated. DP is a shiftworker so often the whole dinner, bath and bed routine PLUS the getting up, breakfast, getting dressed routine is down to me. Added to that DP is then around during the day for the 'fun' bits but is often not home on weekends. I feel like I never get a break, never get a moment to myself and I want to be able to get things done. We need to do some things to the house, plus I want to study for my Masters. That won't happen without childcare so I've had to put aside the mummy guilt and reconcile myself to sending DD2. We have zero family support and no babysitters so have no real alternative.

[Phteven]

I sent mine to day care once a week so that I could have a day to kick back and relax.

[MrsFabuloso]

I sent mine to day care once a week so that I could have a day to kick back and relax.

Me too. First off it was because I was heavily pg and not getting any sort of break and I had SPD and back issues so really needed time to just chill. When DS2 came along it was/is lovely to have that one day with just him. Next year, DD will go to pre school 2 full days a week, and both DS's will go to long day care for one day. I am hoping I will be studying, though if I'm not, that will be a day for me to catch up on stuff, do things that I hate doing with the kids, like grocery shopping, or just have a day at home alone, think a though to the end, do a chore until it's finished, eat a meal while it's hot, pee without an audience....yanno, stuff like that!

[kelebek]

DS needs the stimulation that I don't seem to be able to give him. He started one day a week at 2 and a half but was ready at 2. OH needed convincing. DS would try and play with any child he saw and while he is and was a confident child he didn't really know how to approach them. I know it could have been an age thing but he loves childcare and I don't regret sending him. In fact he now goes 3 days a week and complains on the days he doesn't go.

I don't think it's selfish to send DS when he obviously enjoys it but I am glad I didn't have to send him younger cause he was/is so attached to me but the carers where he goes adore him too.


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[*EJ*]

My DS1 started at FDC when he was 8 months as i went back to work. When i went on leave when i was expecting DS2 i continued to send him (it was only 1 day a week). I did this partly as i did not want to loose my position and partly because having a day to run around without a toddler can be invaluable. Once DS2 arrived it was also lovely to have 1 day of one on one time with him. I went back to work again when DS2 was 10 months old and they were both in care 2 days a week. I then went on leave again pregnant with DD and the boys continued with their day care days. Again for the same reasons, so much i could get done on these days. DD was born Dec last year and the boys continued with day care up until half way through this year. I have now taken them out mainly for financial reasons.

For us a day in care was great for my boys as much as it was for me. Socially and emotionly my boys have benefitted no questions asked (it did help that we had such a lovely carer).

Hope that helps with making a decision that is right for you guys

[Tuesday's Child]

I plan on continuing to send DD to FDC 1 day a week once I finish work (she currently goes 3 days per week). I don't have a lot of family support and with a history of depression and an ailing grandma it will be a relief to have one day where I don't have to run after a toddler. It'll also be good for her to continue to see her friends as we don't have any friends with young children close by and I'm terrible at getting to playgroups or anything like that. Our FDC lady is also very into early childhood education and DD has been coming along in leaps and bounds since starting with her and I'd like to continue that.

DH is also really supportive of sending her for one day. Whenever I waver and wonder if it really will be the best thing, he talks me back around.

[starangelk]

We're sending dd twice a week still.....dh is sahd so while they get out and about alot, we don't have cousins etc and very few people to organise specific play dates with. That said shed get enough socialization from swimming, church kids, playground and general park play etc. So really we ate continuing to send her so that we don't lose our place at kindy and also to give ds a day at home by himself. Dd got that time so I feel it's operant for ds too. Swimming lessons will def be done while dd is at kindy too, much easier for dh! I've been a bit worried how he would cope with both of them 24/5 anyway. I know he could do it but for the cost of it and knowing how much dd loves kindy and the fun (mess) she has there-I think it's worth it.

[FabFiona]

I'm currently on maternity leave. My nearly 2 year old has continued inchildcare for 2 days since I finished work. I do it so I can have one on one time with my baby.


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[skybie]

DD1 started in day care for a half day a week when she was about 2 so she could learn to socialise, we didnt know a single person with kids her age. then once DD2 was near due she started one full day a week.
DD2 will be starting one day next year before this bub is due, just to give us some one on one time

[Lolpigs]

It's really good for their social skills to be around lots of other children, So I plan to either use DC or Preschool for one day a week when old enough so that they get that time. Also means I have a day for me which I'm sure will be nice

[~StarBright~]

I sent DS one day a week just after DD was born. It was nice to have that time with just DD, and she was so young she did actually sleep alot so it was a bit of me time too. When we moved I was stuck at home without a car and so I didnt put him in again until now I have just started work and they are both in today for their first day. (DS is 3 and a bit and DD is 1 and a bit) I am home today so I can be called if I need to be as tomorrow I will be at work!!

I think its good for them and for you! DD always slept better the days that DS was at care. And it was nice to have the one on one time with her so we could play without DS trying to jump on her or steal her toys!! DS was 2 and a bit when he started and I think once they are 3 or so, even one day a week is good to slowly prepare them for going to preschool as well. Mind you today I am feeling a bit lost lol my house is silent and I just had a hot coffee!!!!!!!

[Shanti]

We don't have family or friends anywhere near us who can babysit or help out..... it's just DH and me. So daycare is our 'help' once a week. On this day i get shopping done, have appointments etc.....

DD1 started attending our local daycare (we call it Kindy ) just 2mins up the road from me, when she turned 2yrs2mths. I knew she would love it and after the initial adjustment period of being away from mum, (which was hard on both of us ) she now LOVES kindy and can't wait to leave the house! She has friends there and has learnt so much from kindy that I think a Mum just cannot teach a child at home. She only goes 1 day a week. I would miss her if she went more than 1 day a week!! The house is quiet when she's not here like now, and i miss her but it's good for both of us and I get one-on-one time with DD2 and DD2 has a nice quiet house to sleep in today LOL

It was a VERY hard decision for me to make whether to send DD1 or not but I"m glad we have because it was either do it before I had the baby or WELL AFTER so she didn't feel like I'd just had a baby and then dumped her at daycare.... kwim? I'm so glad I put her in BEFORE I had DD2.

Go with your gut instincts..... it's not an easy decision, I know how you feel the initial adjustment into daycare can be upsetting for both of you (heck, it was for us!!) but you both adjust.....

Find a daycare that is so gentle and supportive of your child. The one DD1 goes to is just awesome and like family to DD1. They hug her when she comes in and know all the kids so well. YOu have to be happy with the centre and the staff thats for sure. If DD1 didnt like kindy then I'd take her out in a heartbeat. It melts my heart when she comes home talking about her friends at kindy and when she pulls out a drawing or painting from her kindy bag... its so sweet.

They learn alot of skills at kindy too, like lining up with other kids, eating together, washing hands and toileting independently, lots of things.

[KimB]

I am a full time SAHM and DD2 and DD3 go to preschool. DD2 goes 3 days a week and DD3 goes 2 days a week. They love the interaction with the other kids and I keep my sanity . Now that DD4 has come along I get some one on one time with her as well.
Next year DD2 goes to kinder and DD3 will go for 3 days a week. That still leaves me at home with DD4 until I decide to put her in for 1 day as well so that I have a sanity day for me.

I don't think it is selfish at all to want to spend one on one time with your DD or DH

[BeautifulMadness]

For my eldest i sent him for a year as he was very shy and not very confident....after a year @ DC he just came on in leaps and bounds....and it helped with his transtion to kinder.

As for my 2nd DS i send him as i saw how it helped my first son...he just loves going, his speech is coming along, he loves his friends. its just a great experience for him.

I look at it like this....im starting to get DS2 into a routine. Prepering him for the next phase which will be kinder.

I get 2 days a week to myself which is helpful being so preggers lol... Tuesdays and Fridays...