DD (13 months) started childcare last week. She is going 5 days a week. She went in with DH a few times in the weeks before and played there and got to know the place.
The first 2 days she was fine when we left - got a little bit upset when she realised we were gone, but was then OK. On the third day she started crying when she realised we were about to leave. She also started getting a cold that day, so possibly already had a sore throat.
Anyway, since then each day she has been upset and DH said this morning she cried as they walked in, rather than once she realised he was about to leave. Once she is settled by the staff she seems to have fun, loves playing outside and finger painting etc. She is still getting over the cold.
Anyway, just wondering how long did other bubs take to settle in? I thought as she was going fulltime it would be a bit easier as she would get to know everyone quickly.
DH is a teacher and wants to have her all to himself during the holidays, but I don't want to have to go through 3 weeks or longer of settling in each term!
It really is different for each child so you would need to play it by ear. Perhaps it has been slightly too much too fast for her. Perhaps for a while one of you could spend some time there with her without leaving her there to get more used to it. At the moment she doesn't want to be without you and knows that everything you leave. So if you can change her opinion on you always leaving once you arrive at the centre she might concentrate more on ejoying herself. Then when you do have to leave her by herself it won't be so bad. We have always done that with DS and it has worked well.
Hope this helps.
Cally,
My DD didn't go to daycare/kindy until she was around 3-4 years old, so I don't know if our experience is helpful or not?
I think we started DD halfway through term 1 (at that time, they shut down for school holidays) and she would scream and cry from when I would pull up in the car park! She would still cry while I walked out and got in the car (broke my heart to hear her cry out 'mummy')
I would pick her up, and she would be happy as, she would even be in the car saying 'bye bye kids' as we were leaving, but she would still cry when we dropped her off next time. They said she was fine during the day, would settle down, and interact with the other kids, so we knew it was just the initial separation.
It was not until the end of July, start of August the same year that she stopped crying when we arrived!
I can't remember if DD was going 2 or 3 days a week at the time?
I think your right also in that if she stays with DH during school holidays, you may have to re settle her in when she goes back.
Depends on the child - a child could settle straight away or it could take months. I do FDC and see different reactions all the time. I have a 2-1/2 yo at the moment, been here since Feb, one day a week (his brother and sister had been coming here for the last few years, so he was always in and out with them). Will cry most weeks when mum leaves, but settles within minutes. This boy is also very shy.
I have had others that may take only a couple of weeks. You could be right that you may have to re-settle DD every term if DH takes her out. He may be better sending her for a couple of hours each day, so she is still in the routine of going to day care which will make it easier on all of you when he goes back to work.
My DD settled in (initially) very quickly... within a week. She was 4.5 months old. However, she recently moved up a room and it has taken about 6 (loooooooooooooooooong) weeks for her to settle in... so I guess it depends on the child and the carers...
Hi hun, I know it must be the hardest thing for parents to leave their children when they are upset. I am a kindy teacher and see it alot at the start of the year or when a new child arrives. I know I will probably find it hard when my little girl reaches that age where I have to leave her.
The best thing you can do those is to leave her and not let her get into the habit of her thinking that when she cries that you will stay. the problem will just get worse.
If you are really worried you could always get the preschool to call you if she cries for longer than 40 minutes (or however longis too long in your mind). I am sure she is fine once she is distracted and will get used to it within a few weeks.
Good luck for this difficult time and I hope your DD is feeling much better.
Thanks everyone. DH and I were doing something in the foyer this morning and we could hear that she stopped crying within a minute of walking out the door so that was good. She still looked a bit upset, but was sitting on the director's lap with some playdoh.
Glad today went better for you and DH and DD. It is okay that she was with the director on her lap. Im sure she wouldnt have stayed there all day and would have settled in well. You could ask preschool as well if she has anyone there that she likes to play with and have them over one day for a little play so that then DD has someone that she feels comfortable playing with when you leave her.
I just wanted to let you know that I think that is completely normal behvaiour. If she was crying through the day, I'd be worried, but at 13 months they *all* cry at separation. Those who don't are the exception. If she's easily distracted out of it, with a cuddle and some playdough, it is normal (although hard!) and she will be OK.
There are kids out there who still cry on separation at 4 or 5 after being in care from 6 months! They are fine most of the day, and it's a fairly healthy reaction from a child who has a good strong relationship with their parents.
So expect the brief episodes to last for a while. If she's crying when you arrive, then I'd be a little more concerned.
As for school holidays.... I don't know the best solution! Not that I claim to have all the answers, but after 9 years in childcare I am pretty cluey about what works, and honestly, the jury's out. Some children's behaviour doesn't change too much after 2 weeks off, and some have a real struggle. From my position, as a caregiver, I feel like I lose a lot of ground in my own relationship with the child in that time, so feel like I'm going backwards sometimes. But on the other hand, some kids come back SO chilled out after two weeks with the folks that it's great to have them back.
Can't give you the answer, I'm sorry! But I hope you feel a bit better about it all.
Sorry, Cally. It is tough, isn't it?
My DD is in care 2 days/week. Started in July (she was around 18 months old) and as of about a month ago she doesn't cry anymore when we drop her off. And some weeks she will lead us in by the hand and wander off and play of her own accord.
Hang in there. I never thought I'd see this day, but here we are
Settling in - how long?
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