Should I pull him out?

[Maruschke]

M

Big

I wonder if leaving the girls at home and dropping A off, just the two of you, might help?

Do you want to take the kids there to play on Saturday/Sunday?

[Heaven]

That's such a tough one. I'm not sure what I'd do. But I think if it was my DD I would be likely to pull her out and start working on getting her used to the idea for the next year (or even term 3 if you are allowed to do that).

[Freya]

A teacher friend of mine informed me that prep is now compulsory from this year. So if he is 6 before July this year then they may not let you take him out.

I personally think you should perservere. Its only first term and some kids take longer than others to settle. Taking him out will probably only prolonge the agony and he'll start it all again next year. Im a bit surprised the school hasnt helped you with this, met you halfway or something in thinking of strategies to make it easier on him. Do they have a school counsellor?

Is it just drop off or is he unsettled like that all day? If he is unsettled all day then a counsellor and some liaising with the school (prinicipal, welfare officer, teacher) might be your best option if you cant/dont want to pull him out. If its just drop off then I would just let it go.

[Shanti]

I agree with Freya.

[Traveller]

It's such a difficult decision. Loads of kids have issues settling at school but it doesn't make it easier when it happens to you. Please remember that compulsory or not, you don't have to send him to school. You could homeschool him even for a year or two if you think he (and you) would be happier with that. Taking him out need not set him behind as long as you have an appropriate plan in place for continuing his education so that he will be ready to rejoin his peers when he is less anxious.

My DS2 was very unhappy at preschool and I ended up taking him out. He started school the following year without issue and the extra 6 months at home with me really helped settle him. I was highly criticised for this move by friends however who felt that, although not compulsory, I was doing him a disservice by having him at home. But I could not have forgiven myself for sending him when I was at home anyway and he was miserable. Now he is at school he loves it.

[Arcadia]

FWIW I really dislike it when people suggest an arbitrary number as the age that children are ready for school. They're all different and school readiness isn't gauged by age. My 7 year old is doing maths that is usually set for the class above him and helping out his classmates when he's finished his work. I find it quite astonishing that anyone could suggest that he's only just become ready for school in the last few months.

I think all states set an arbitrary number by which children should go to school.

Children learn everyday and don't have to attend school to achieve that.

Eta I found this document on school readiness (from nsw govt) had some good tips about dealing with children who weren't ready at first attempt http://www.community.nsw.gov.au/docs..._readiness.pdf

Sorry for brevity, feeding ds while typing on phone...I don't mean to be curt

[fromscratch]

You could have typed our story exactly word for word.
Turns out our ds was being bullied and the staff were unaware of it.
We removed our son from school and began homeschooling.....He's in highschool now(year 8), has a large social group of schooled and homeschool kids and is thriving when it come to academics.

This path has worked well for us now we homeschool dd7 as well, but started at home with her, she has never been to school. She has heaps of friends too and we all enjoy the freedom homeschooling brings. I have met a few new friends as well.
Homeschooling sounds scary for some but is a legal and legitiamte option for a growing number of families in Australia.
Schoolwise they are above their schooled peers when it comes to subjects like Maths, English, Science, History, Geography, Technology and Art. Both the children enjoy organised sporting activitys and are free to chose a different sport each season if they wish. ATM we do swimming lessons, basketball, horseriding, dance and senior swimming squad at competition level.
We are currently learning how to sign in Auslan as our second language but I have already had a request for next year (by the highschooler) latin and russian which we shal do through VSL.

I hope you find a suitable option for your little man soon.

[Olive]

Hugs darl xxx
If you'd like more info or reading google Kathy walker Early life foundationS

[Floweryfields]

Nerd you're in Qld right? I would persist, no it's not compulsory, but a child starting off grade one who hasn't been to prep will, in all honestly, be way behind the 8 ball. I know our prep teacher well and have discussed the new curriculum with her - prep is basically now grade 1 standard. If a child missed that whole year, to catch up in year 1 would be a big ask. I don't know why it isn't compulsory to be honest with the teaching that is now occurring.

[Maruschke]

Nerd you're in Qld right? I would persist, no it's not compulsory, but a child starting off grade one who hasn't been to prep will, in all honestly, be way behind the 8 ball. I know our prep teacher well and have discussed the new curriculum with her - prep is basically now grade 1 standard. If a child missed that whole year, to catch up in year 1 would be a big ask. I don't know why it isn't compulsory to be honest with the teaching that is now occurring.

A is well ahead already. He's a smart cookie. In all honesty I don't think he would be behind academically, it would just be a matter of learning how to be away from mum again.

[Phteven]

I think all states set an arbitrary number by which children should go to school.

Children learn everyday and don't have to attend school to achieve that.

I've only got 2 children who started in 2 states so I'm not really an expert on all states but the 2 in which I do have experience both have about an 18 month age window in which children can start and in both cases children who are demonstrably not able to cope are either excused until the next year or allowed to access special education.
The syllabus is designed to meet the needs of children in the target age groups not children 2 years older - TBH when I look at DS1 and his classmates the idea of making children as capable as them do the stuff that the kindies do is utterly laughable. There is a world of difference between 5 and 7 and making a 7 year old partake in activities designed for 5 years old would just be mean.

Most schools and educators have responded to the studies that showed that some children had trouble with adapting to traditional schooling methods by changing their methods. Classrooms are more active places now that they were previously and all the teachers I've dealt with have understood the need to let young children get their sillies out more often than the scheduled breaks permit.

Children don't need to go to school to learn but since I'm not a great teacher and they're not going to learn hypotenuse helping me with the shopping school seems like a pretty good option for my children.

[Floweryfields]

A is well ahead already. He's a smart cookie. In all honesty I don't think he would be behind academically, it would just be a matter of learning how to be away from mum again.

That's the thing, it's not just intellectual rediness, if the child (sorry I don't know their names) has to start over again with the seperation and socialisation thing in year 1, that would be a big setback too.

Just my opinion.

[Arcadia]

If you pull a child out of prep and try again next year, wouldn't they start at prep again? Or would they go to year one?

When I went to school the variety of ages in my year was huge, about 15 months, so some kids were kept back an extra year while others were accelerated.

I think the variety of norms across states and countries shows there is no perfect time for every child to start school, and the success of many homeschooling children demonstrate school itself is not the only solution for each child either.

It's about what works for your child and your family.

[Floweryfields]

If you pull a child out of prep and try again next year, wouldn't they start at prep again? Or would they go to year one?


.

No unfortunately inQld it doesn't work like that. If you choose not to do the prep year, you go straight to year 1 the following year.

[Arimeh]

Thanks everyone for your opinions only just got the chance now to pop on quickly on my phone.

He turned 5 in January so technically he doesn't need to go until next year since they must be in school when they are 6.

I asked him (for about the millionth time, sorry my first post didn't reflect that I have talked to him) and he just says he doesn't want to go because it's not fun. He misses me.

I pointed out yesterday that he only goes for 6 hours out of 24, so that's 18 hours he gets to spend with me a day, so much more than 6.

He's running around at the moment saying he's not going to school. He won't get dressed so I've told him unless he does, he's going in his undies.....

[meow]

I would personally not send him. I generally always err on the side of starting school later rather than earlier, especially for boys as they develop socially/emotionally later than girls, and they have so much testosterone early on that they usually lack the impulse control required to succeed at school. Intellect is such a small part of the equation and you can provide that stimulation at home.

Can you give him a "mental health day" today and review it some more?

[Liviam]

How'd it go this morning?

[Amaunet]

I'm guessing Prep in Qld is like Pre-school in NSW? And Year 1 is like our Kindergarten and the first official year of "big school"?

Can you get some idea from his teacher about what activities they will be doing each day so you can talk specifically about what he will be doing that day and get him excited? Can you also talk to the teacher about A's particular interests and see if she can incorporate them into the teaching program so he is more excited to be there?

I don't believe it is essential for kids to do a "preschool" program, but, as someone who has taught the first year of school (kindergarten in NsW) it is noticeable which children have been to some kind of preschool as they seem to do better with the routines and requirement of schooling such as eating at particular times, being away from mum/dad, participating in group activities, navigating peer relationships, following instructions, lining up, asking to go to the toilet etc. None of these are deal breakers obviously and most kids pick them up quickly but if you do keep him home, they are things you can practice to get him ready for next year.

Good luck with your decision, follow your mummy instincts, they won't steer you wrong