Should Working mothers be given preference at childcare ?? rant and healthy debate :)

[Phteven]

Just because I don't physically have to travel to a different location and be paid by someone else doesn't mean I'm not a working mother.

I think that generally there seems to be an assumption (not just in this thread) that SAHMs use childcare for frivolous reasons whilst working mums use childcare for serious important reasons. TBH I think it's part of a wider social construct about the relative intelligence/worth of working vs non-working women.

If it comes down to need I'm not sure why the mental/emotional needs of a SAHM are outweighed by the financial needs of a working mum*.

*It occurs to me that the language we use to discuss women who work outside the home as opposed to women who work in the home supports the idea that the needs of women at home are less important. Working as opposed to ...... not working? Hmmm......
Maybe it has something to do with the era when men were more likely to work while women didn't. The idea that the working person is more important that the non-working person. Even though the gender rules of work have shifted the attitudes towards the people who don't work outside the home might be more deeply ingrained/slower to change...
Sorry about the tangent, thinking uot loud.....

[sushee]

I think that's an interesting point. I was a SAHM for long periods of time and I don't disagree that SAHMs work too. I know I did. But again it boils down to choice. Do I think mental/emotional needs of a SAHM are outweighed by the financial needs of a working mum? Yes, I do. Because working mums balance both mental/emotional and financial. The stress of not getting a childcare place and therefore not working is not simply a financial consideration, but one that impacts the mother's well-being just as much as a SAHM.

And I use the term 'working' here generically to refer to paid employment outside the home, because having to explicitly differentiate it in every post seems unnecessary, unless anyone tells me differently.

[PinkPalace]

If it comes down to need I'm not sure why the mental/emotional needs of a SAHM are outweighed by the financial needs of a working mum*.
people dont only work for financial reasons... perhaps working mums use it as an emotional outlet too? i think things are off track - it wasnt a sahm / working mum who is better argument is was a discussion on the system in general.

*It occurs to me that the language we use to discuss women who work outside the home as opposed to women who work in the home supports the idea that the needs of women at home are less important. Working as opposed to ...... not working? Hmmm......

i have no idea where this WAHM arent working spin off started? definately wasnt me nor the inital purpose of the thread.
again is nothing to do with importance of pposition. It is a logistical issue - you can have yourr children at home while you are at home doing home duties (as i do 7 days a week, but you cant take your 3 yo to work with you especially if you work in a dangerous setting.... hence why i work shifts that my hsuisband is home - after 7pm at night and weekends.)

[Astrid]

I think many people forget that working mothers were once stay at home mothers. I was once a stay at home mum, I know what it is about. I have used childcare for both work in the work place, work at home, volunteering, looking for work and mental health. The only thing I have not used childcare for is study. I have been on both sides of the fence.

I have lost a day (dropped from 2 to 1) as I was not working. I have struggled to find a place when I was working and no-one then was asked to change days or consider their days.

Do you really think that I suddenly forget what it was like to be a home? To be home with a newborn, to be doing the kinder run, the school runs as a SAHM? No, I have not forgotten and I am not suddenly SAHM vs Working mum. I just know what it is like to do both and from that I can see the different needs of both when it comes to requiring childcare.

[PinkPalace]

i agree astrid
I can fully claim to be both as far as I'm concerned as currently I have the kids 7 days a week most mums I meet wouldn't even know I worked because I am there at work when they are sleeping or out with their husbands on weekends.
I don't have my kids in care when I am home?
Same as if I do eventually get a spot where I can work in the daytime so I can actually become a wife again to my husband, I would not have my children in care the days I'm not at work as I do not see that fair to others that need it as they can't take their children to their Jo b( in which ever sense it may be)

[briggsy's girl]

i think there has to be differentiation between SAHP (either gender) and working/studying parents when you are looking at how care places need to be prioritised. don't get me wrong, i get that SAHP's need time out, however, i don't believe it is a priority over a working/studying parent. i don't differentiate between work outside of the home and work within the home when i say "work", on campus study vs correspondence when i say "study". But i think the hours worked and the needs of each individual need to be addressed. a parent that is combining parenting with this added activity is taking on more responsibility and probably has a higher need for care position (there are situations in which care needs for a SAHP are higher than average - having a disability or caring for someone with a disability, child with disability, at risk children, crisis situations etc) - it's NEVER EVER going to be black and white when talking about priority care etc.

i would love to be able to say it's an easy solution, but it's just not the case. Everyone is going to have a different view depending on their own situation and experience. Their needs are going to put "filters" in place that will color their view.

[PinkPalace]

How do you know that many of them aren't WAHM mothers? .

mmm that would make you a working mother... why would they kick you out?