Tearing my heart out... what would you do?

[BellyBelly]

I just rang the council and they have nothing for family day care They are even doing placements for next year and have nothing, so I am on a waiting list... fingers crossed... will try some other centres in the meantime I guess, if he can do one day a week we can see if he likes it better. *sigh*

[Celsie]

Kelly - do you know anyone who has their child in FDC? If you do, perhaps you could speak to the FDC provider and explain your situation and see if they are able to help you out? Or if they're not able to help, maybe they know someone who could.

I don't think you're being soft at all. How can we help our children thrive in life if we ignore them when they're at their most vulnerable?

[AnyDream]

Kelly - do you know anyone who has their child in FDC? If you do, perhaps you could speak to the FDC provider and explain your situation and see if they are able to help you out? Or if they're not able to help, maybe they know someone who could.

Very good advice Celsie. Often places fill by word-of-mouth instead of through the office. Ask around and keep asking. The carer that DD2 is with now was 'not taking any more children'...that is until she met my DD (who she now adores) and decided that she could squeeze one more into her week LOL.

[Ellibam]

have you looked in to a fulltime nanny?? you can get the same rebates as ccc's as long as they are registered. he would then be at home or she/he could take him to kinder.
speak to the carers ask what he is like once you are gone...often they will stop crying shortly after you are gone.
is hea shedule type of boy? likes to know whats happening next??
we had one boy who his mum would tell him what time she was going to pick him up and all day he would ask what the time was(annoying for the carers but great for him) and he knew that it was getting closer.
other things to try
-would be not always dropping him of last ( if possible)
- try and time it that you and div get there the same ish time so you can walk in together a distraction from the beginning.
- maybe one day organise with the carers to read to the group so you stay for a good hour or so.

HTH

[BellyBelly]

The group he is in has no more than 10 in the class, its nice and small, they all come together for playtime though and they are fine. He is fine after I leave him. But the gutwrenching bawling starting from getting him dressed to leaving him, every single day is hell

[Amity]

Aw honey, huge hugs.

I'll have a word to my other daycarer (FDC), she's having Neddy fulltime from 27 January when she returns from overseas. If you were looking for fulltime, she's probably more interested. I'll have to talk to her though.

Neddy will be there Mondays and Fridays until the end of January, so perhaps this might help Lijie?

And he is probably picking up on what happens at home - I know mine did.

It's just so hard doing it all on your own, I so feel for you. I'd be lost without my parents! If I could afford to houseshare, I would, but the finances are looking very awful atm.

I think Lijie would probably be like this at most centres, TBH. I think it's more his personality than the centre, IYKWIM. My two love it there, Alex is going back on Friday as well. Lijie is a sensitive chappy, and there is lots of colour and noise there.

I'm more than happy to drop Neddy off at your place on Mondays and Fridays if you want to drop him off at the same time as Lijie... it's on my way to the station anyway! Happy to do whatever I can to help. Let me know what you want...

[~Trish~]

Aww Kelly . I know the feeling well. My DS started 3 y/o kinder this year and he didn't cope well with me leaving him at first. He's always been a mummy's boy and it was really hard for him to watch me leave him. I would DREAD taking him there, the only thing that kept me going was knowing that he actually enjoyed himself after I left and when I went to pick him up he was happy.

I spoke to his teacher a lot and she was wonderful at helping integrate him. He got used to it within a month and the crying stopped. But then there was a temporary change of teacher and it all went out the window again. He went back to crying hysterically when it was time to leave for kinder, even just mentioning kinder on the other days was enough to start him crying. One time he was so upset he threw up all over himself in the car at the kinder carpark . Once his teacher was back I rang her and she agreed to work with us again and he stopped the crying after the 3rd class back thankfully.

I'm not much help, I'm really just someone who understands the pain of watching your child cry like that. It's heartbreaking and it takes a lot of strength from you to keep persevering . It sounds like it's extra hard when you're getting unhelpful comments from his dad, no one knows what it's like unless you're there in the moment.

I hope you find the right place for him soon .

[CathieW]

Hi
I own a child care centre and we have had a couple of children not wanting to come to day care because of rest time, so we decided to stop rest time for our 4 -5 year olds and give them a choice on wheather they would like a rest. It has worked really well. Maybe suggest this to your day care centre and see what they say. You can say to them that you do not want your child to have a rest during the day.

Cathie

[Mother Goose]

Kelly, Abbey went through this not long ago. It lasted about 6 weeks for us and was hell. I had to take time off work and fly my MIL over from Adelaide to help out.

We found that Abbey getting some quality 1:1 time with me and Grandma (she had 1 day a week out of CC and spent it with Gran) really helped. In the meantime, we carried her into the centre (she was making herself a dead weight and dropping on the floor when we got in), ignored tantrums in her room (which we do anyway), and encouraged distraction techniques. I had a word to the carers and Director so they would also help with distraction. The best thing that worked for us was getting her to watch for us through the windows into the corridor and wave goodbye. There is also a BIG window in her room which overlooks the road intersection - so we got her to stand at the window and we'd wave from the car. Not a tear or tantrum to be seen! We also noticed she was worse when we dropped her into the combined room in the mornings - so we try to drop her off after that has ended and if it is earlier, they try to get her into her normal room ASAP. She is a LOT better now. Back to being her normal happy self and loving child care - she runs in and is all smiles. Waves us off and gives us a huge kiss. It is wonderful.

Hang in there and follow your heart.