DD is going to kindy next year. We moved to this town fairly recently and a big part of wanting her to go to kindy (rather than to childcare which would mean I could go back to work) is so that I can meet more people here. I realise that may seem like a fairly silly reason but I'm keen for us to put down roots in this town.
Anyhow, I'm wondering how many of you are now friends with the other kindy mums? I guess this really only applies to small towns (ours is about 3000) because having moved from the city, it's a totally different dynamic in the city anyway.
It is really only now that DD1 is in Prep that I am getting to know the mums a bit better. I suppose Kindy is where we meet and Prep is where we get to know each other. 1/2 of the kindy kids went onto the local primary school, the rest went into the nearby city, mainly those who chose private schools.
I found being the newcomer in town that many of the other mums has existing friendships and support networks. Also they were much more dash in out. I am not one for committees, so I was not part of the kinder committee, but from what I could tell that helped with getting to know the other mums. I find with primary school there is a bit more hanging around after school, the kids want to play a bit more, so all the mums stand around and talk a lot more. I find I tend to be getting on with the other mums who are not "locals".
We don't count as a small town, we are a community though
One of the best way to get to know Mums is to be on the parent's committee or involved in the running of the Kinder. At the compulsory AGM they ask for volunteers for each positon.
With Kinder it can be funny, some Mum's are purely drop and run and that is it.
Our Kinder do not open doors until it's time to start the session, so there are a group of us out the front waiting to go in, you tend to just get talking and then usually after a while your child will be friends or play with some children more than the other and you can often get a friendship that way.
I am friends with a meet up with Mum's from DS1's Kinder still. I am still finding my feet with DS2's Kinder, although there is definite potential for long friendships as some of the kids are going to the same school as DS2.
It helps if you are willing to talk and make the first move I reckon, as some Mum's are probably hoping to make friendships and may not have the personality to make the first move.
We are in a small town (around 1000 people) and our kindy is super friendly. ATM our roll is only at about 25 children, but there is a boom of two year olds that are due to start early next year that will boost us up to closer to 40 kids.
Join the committee. That gives you access to get to know half a dozen other mums. Most of the kindy mums I know I already knew from mothers group - which seem to be a lot friendlier in smaller towns and less competitive because the kids are a range of ages.
I'd look around for other kid things too since you have your DD2 while the older is at kindy - there are probably toddler activity groups, and check out if there is a toy library too.
Good luck. It makes life so much better when you have friends around
I organized play dates with the kids DD hung out with. We all got on famously until there was a series of incidents. lies, and inappropriate behavior. Consequently, I now no longer have anything to do with any of them (my choice). Sorry to be the wet blanket but just be careful. I have found the behavior amongst Kindy parents much worse than Teenagers in High School. I hope you can meet some local mum's soon though Fi and put down those roots.
Our town's much bigger but it's still a town.
This is DD's second year at what you guys call kinder. I have to say though, for the first few months I really struggled. I tried really hard to smile and say hello, but lie Astrid said existing friendships and all that.
But this year is a definite yes. I think that maybe because it was a fresh start to the year for all. Many had moved on and there were new mums. I still smile and say hello and this year there are far more responders. I've made a couple of great friends and definite friendly acquaintances. Most people in our town are nomads, no-one's really a local. We don't have committees but I put my hand up for everything they ask. People become familiar with your face easily recognised, easier to chat?
DD1 goes to kinder at the day care centre she's been going to for the past 3 and a bit years and i can honestly say i havent had a single conversation with another parent.
i think the biggest issue is that its a day care centre and DD1 usually gets there about 10ish, where a majority of the other kids start before 9am so our paths never really cross
I find it helps once the birthday parties start to happen, especially when you host one yourself. At the kinder age parents tend to stay, so you get to know them a bit more then.
To add onto what Kim has said about being easier to recognise, it pays to go to community events. Even if you don't chat to other parents there, just a smile and a nod when you see them, it gives you an ice breaker topic the next time you see them at kinder. "Hi, I saw you at the ....festival. We had a great time there, what did you think of it?"
I just would not jump into friendships too quickly. Take your time, as it is a small area, it is hard to avoid people if you realise that you made a mistake being to friendly with them.
Thanks guys - I guess the answer is "it depends". So far, we go to story time and kindergym but as much as everyone is v friendly it's not really a phone number swapping/let's arrange playdates type of thing. The same at childcare drop-offs - everyone is in and out and not hanging around and that's entirely to be expected.
It's a really, really friendly town. Most people I bump into at the playground have been here for two years or less. EVERYONE I've met is a fellow treechanger so I know like-minded people are out there, I just haven't met them yet. Actually, I've made a couple of friends but I'd like to make more.
I should have joined a mothers group with DD2 and just sucked up all the conversations about sleep and poo in the interests of the greater good.
Astrid, community events are a bit tricky as DP is often working in the evenings and on weekends and I'm sometimes reluctant to go on my own with the two girls.
I'm also not in the country, but we did move house & suburbs a few months before DS1 started 3yo Kindy. To be honest I have made a real effort to get to know the mums at Kindy. Mainly because I struggle to do the whole chit chat & make play dates. I am quite happy to be on my own. We didn't do play dates as I was growing up we had to be quiet. Mum didn't drive & Dad wouldn't drive us to friends. I want my boys to socialise & not have the insecurities I have. The one mum I found hard to gel with I now go to personal training sessions with. We regularly have play dates with the other kids, have coffee & chat whilst the kids are at Kinder taking it in turn to host. Having moved to the area there are the mums who all went to the same mother's group who are clicky, but I still try lol (walked home with one the other day & talked about primary schools etc). DH is on the commitee as the Treasurer & he's made friends there.
I may still get burnt but as with anything I do as long as I am open, honest & do the right thing by my conscience that's all I can do.
We have been here 3 1/2 years now. I have had friendships come and go, only sustainable whilst doing the same thing (playgroup, ABA etc). Some which logically should have become good friends, but just fizzed. There have been a few stayers in that time. Of course there are the odd ones I wish I had not met I still wish I had more close friends, even just one more would be fantastic!
It sucks about community events and I completely understand about not taking both girls by yourself.
My kids went to kinder in a small town. I actually became quite good friends with a group of kinder mums. DD used to nag me to go to kinder to play on the equipment while we waited for DS to finish so I used to get to there quite early to pick DS which is how I got talking to them in the first place. Then the kids started having birthday parties which DS was invited to, then the party plan things started.....that's pretty much how I became friends with them.
Our kids all went to the same primary school, we ended up becoming quite good friends, we'd go out for lunches and dinner for each other's birthdays, Christmas, 1st day of school etc. DS is in year 8 now and I'm still good friends with a couple of them, I'm actually going to the theater with one on Saturday
I live in a big city, but our area feels really community-oriented. I can't believe how many ppl grew up in this area and stayed, everyone knew everyone or is related.
We made some good friends through preschool/kinder. A fair few have kept contact as a group and a few families are holidaying together in a few weeks (we're not sure DP can get the time off unfortunately). Some are at DD's school and a couple in her class. It's really nice.
Play dates and meeting up for coffee after drop offs were really good to get to know each other. And we have picnics and meet ups at parks on weekends, even now the kids have gone to school.
am in a smaller town than you and well even though I have tried I am still only socialising with the girls I knew previous to kindy...but then I live in a mining town where the woman all are in little cliches
I'm not looking forward to DD starting kindy... I know the mum's who's kids are the same age as DD, as we all go to playgroup together..
To be honest, they're all really biatchy and stuck up. The town is only 400 people. I don't know if I can really cope with being stuck with these women for the entirety of DD's schooling years.
Kindy Mums: Did You Get To Know The Other Mums?
Reply With Quote
easily recognised, easier to chat?
I still wish I had more close friends, even just one more would be fantastic!
Bookmarks