I don't know what to do

[butterfly_warrior]

Sam goes to daycare one day per week. My first impressions of the centre where that it was lovely and the carers were making a real effort to engage with Sam when we went to visit. He's been four times and there's just been something every week that is making me feel really concerned, and yesterday's was a big one.

Sam is nearly 14 months old, but is still wrapped to sleep. We're having some success with weaning him off it for night sleeps, but it seems to be the only way we can get him to slow down and stop enough to be able to fall asleep for day sleeps. He also has two naps each day still, but he also has a 9pm bed time because DH doesn't get home from work until after 6pm. His last nap of the day starts around 4pm, so the centre should be keeping him awake until I can pick him up (usually around 3:30pm). He has a dummy, but should only be having it for sleep - again, the centre knows this.

The first week wasn't too bad. I dropped him off later than I would normally, told them I'd be back around 3 but to call me if he was getting too tired and needed to sleep earlier in the afternoon. They didn't ring, but I arrived at the centre to an overtired, distressed baby who didn't stop crying until he was in my arms. Reports were that he'd eaten well, but hadn't slept very well. His bottles were rinsed out thoroughly and popped back into his bag. He doesn't sleep well away from home so I figured it would take some time for him to adjust to the centre to be able to sleep there.

Week two. I arrive at 3:45, the kids are outside being served afternoon tea. They are under a tree, but none of them are wearing hats. Sam's wrapped to sleep, but sitting in a pram. He's happy. But I'm told that he was tired, they tried to settle him to sleep but be closed his eyes for a minute but then woke up. I collect his things to find that he hadn't been given his second bottle, which normally happens around 3pm. I give him his bottle and then go home, but he seems happy and content so I'm not too stressed.

Week three. Sam gets unhappy and unwell due to teething. I get a call at 12:30 telling me he's clammy and sweaty and just unhappy in himself. I need to be on playground duty so I ask them to give him some panadol and I'll call them back in half an hour. I get back in from my duty and call them back and I'm told he's settled and happy. 3:30 when I pick him up, he's sleeping in a pram in just his nappy. I'm not overly pleased about him not being dressed, even less pleased when his clothes aren't in his bag and one of the carers doesn't know where to find them and needs to search... The sleep I can understand if he's not well. I take him home, give him a bath and some cuddles and we spend the weekend nursing him through a cold and finally see a new tooth arrive on Thursday. His bottles were rinsed as usual, but not very well and there's stinky formula residue left in them.

Week four. Swimming carnival for me, so I need to drop him off early, without him having eaten breakfast. I supply a jar of food for breakfast and he has a few spoonfuls but is just hysterical and distressed. I leave so the carer can calm him down to eat and cry all the way to the swimming carnival. I don't hear anything at all during the day, so I figure things were going well. I arrive at 3:15 to pick him up and again find him asleep - unwrapped but in a pram this time. His bottle is tucked in beside him as though he'd been given it to put himself to sleep - something we NEVER do. But most concerning of all - he was COVERED IN PAINT!!!

I'm told that he got into some paint while he was sitting next to one of the older children who was painting (why?) but I'm also told that one of the paint streaks is probably down to the older child painting my boy. We're not talking just a small amount of paint either. There's green and purple paint involved - a streak of each in his hair, a blob of green near his ear, purple on his chin and under his nose (virtually UP his nose) and on his dummy, purple paint all over his fingers (mainly around and under his nails). Green paint on his shorts and green and purple paint on his shirt.

I get told that "he didn't seem to like having his face wiped so we just left it". No child enjoys having their face washed or wiped, but I figure it's something that you've just got to do (otherwise he'd be running around with last week's dinner all over his face and just be generally gross). Hands as well, for a baby that age they still spend a lot of time in his mouth. They are obviously letting him have his dummy all the time (otherwise how was the paint only on it and around it?). The other thing I just don't get is why they insist on us sending two spare sets of clothes if he's going to get that dirty but still be left in his original clothing? His bottles were also not rinsed at all, so now I'm going to have to run them through the steriliser again.

I just don't know what to do at this point. I was too cranky and upset to say anything then and there, and I didn't see the director that afternoon. My heart is screaming to just take him out and DH can just not do his one day in the office and stick with working from home. DH is leaning more towards visiting them after work to speak to them face to face - I just don't know what's appropriate.

BW