baby spiral fracture feel so bad

[Lulu]

It was Sunday afternoon and my family were over for lunch,my sister has 2 kids one is a boy 9 the other is a girl 7 the 9 year old boy is horrible,you just mention his name and people groan,hes nasty,very sneaky etc,ive caught him doing things before to our baby but thought they were accidents but nothing bad came of them like this.So they were playing in the lounge on the floor and asked if my ten month old could sit with them and play,so i thought how much trouble could they get into on the floor??

I'm sorry you don't feel too good about my statement Willow, but I'd like to re-iterate these points. Made by 1pj, the mother. I think her feelings about the situation are important - regardless of the 'evidence' (which in the light of the above statement should send red flags up to anyone.)

She feels something untoward may have happened. The boy has been involved in previous 'accidents' with the baby. They were playing on the floor.

Of course spiral fractures do occur in children. If they fall off a bed, or chair and there is enough force to fracture it can and does happen. Even if they trip over when they are walking. We have a baby sitting on the floor and a spiral fracture.

I didn't set out to upset 1pj any more that she already has been, I believe it's worth some sort of action (even if it's not leaving them alone again).

[Junglemum]

Although spiral fractures can occur with an impact, Lulu is right, they are commonly caused by twisting and are a common presentation for children with 'non accidental injury' (NAI)
I'm not saying that this was a not an accident, i wasn't there and i don't know the ins and outs, but most children that turn up with a spiral fracture and an unknown cause to a radiology department would be assessed for NAI.

But like i say, i wasn't there, and i wouldn't like to comment really except to say;

You poor baby girl and poor you. Hope she mends quickly.

[Schmickers]

It sounds quite suspicious to me that your nephew was involved in some way, 1pj. I agree with the others, and I wouldn't be subtle - I would be simly telling the child's mother that you know he lied, that he has been caught lying and being rough before, that this time there has been a serious consequence, and that unless she is willing to constantly supervise his behaviour while he is there, that he is not welcome. That is a drastic move, but for a seven year old who is so undisciplined that he cannot even manage to play gently with a 10 month old, I think drastic action needs to be taken.

We had something similar happen to us when DD2 was 9 months old. We accidentally dropped her in our back garden, and she sustained a spiral fracture to her femur. I can assure you there were no twisting forces involved! Children's bones spiral fracture because they are more pliable and therefore tend to bend and buckle before they break completely. That said, one possible scenario comnes to mind in your case - you mention that your nephew said she "rolled and hit her head" - if she rolled while her leg was trapped, possibly under him if he was lying on her or being rough with her, then there would be some twisting force involved.

Children's bones heal fast. DD2 is three now and has absolutely no deficit after her injury.

[Kailani]

I hope she recovers really soon!

I agree with others that you should definitely confront your sister and tell her your concerns. I find it very suspicious that she sustained a spiral fracture from just sitting on the floor and not being on the move... I'm sorry and I hope I don't offend, but from what you've said about your nephew, his past behaviour, the fact that he lied about the situation, this would be the last straw for me and he would not be welcome around my child until his mother acted upon my concerns and I saw improvement in his behaviour.

Your sister sounds as though she knows her son is in the wrong as she is acting very defencively, not questioning her children, blaming you and not taking one bit of responsibility. Appalling!

Good luck and please speak to your sister and don't let your nephew go near your daughter without YOU there, because unfortunately, it doesn't seem like you can even trust your sister to own up if her children do do something wrong.

xox

[LionsandBears]

When I first read the above, my immediate thought was he'd given her a Chinese burn (obviously I may well be wrong)

Based on the history, I would be seriously concerned. It sounds like he may well be a nasty little brat whose mother thinks he can do no wrong. A great way to raise a sociopath. Early markers of sociopathy/psychopathy include wetting the bed and playing with fire, as well as harming animals/ young children. I know I might be jumping the gun, but I would not leave her with her cousins unsupervised again.

[Willow]

Made by 1pj, the mother. I think her feelings about the situation are important

Um, obviously. It was her feelings I was considering when I posted, not my own.

We had something similar happen to us when DD2 was 9 months old. We accidentally dropped her in our back garden, and she sustained a spiral fracture to her femur. I can assure you there were no twisting forces involved! Children's bones spiral fracture because they are more pliable and therefore tend to bend and buckle before they break completely. That said, one possible scenario comes to mind in your case - you mention that your nephew said she "rolled and hit her head" - if she rolled while her leg was trapped, possibly under him if he was lying on her or being rough with her, then there would be some twisting force involved.

Thank you Michael, this is exactly what I mean.

I understand PJ suspects something untoward has happened and I am not disputing that at all. I agree that he should not be left alone with her child again. Nor am I saying she shouldn't confront her sister about the incident. I am disputing the fact that you have implied her nephew 'twisted her leg until it broke'. You have absolutely no evidence to support that statement Lulu. As Michael has suggested, there are other ways it may have happened.

[Lulu]

*sigh. I understand you objected to the language I used.
I understand accidents can happen, I am trying to get across that the child did not fall from a height so a fracture would not be so easily sustained.
However I'm not the only one here implying the nephew may have had something to do with it.

[Willow]

However I'm not the only one here implying the nephew may have had something to do with it.

**Sigh**

I understand that AND agree with you, as I have clearly stated.

Anyway, I have nothing more to add other than I hope PJs little girl's leg heals beautifully without too much discomfort for her and that she sorts the situation with her nephew. Best of luck hun.

[SJL]

Hi Pj,
I hope the little miss is feeling better, her leg will be out of that cast in no time.

Dont feel bad about not realising for so long. My daughter fractured her leg falling off a swing, it took 12 hrs of screaming and vomitting before I realised what was wrong with her. By that point she had been checked over by about 4 medical professionals who also could not figure out what was wrong at first.
It is very hard to guess what the problem is when kids cant communicate.

Any way, good luck with her leg, I hope it heals quickly.

Sjl

[Cassius2]

I hope your bubby girl is ok and healing nicely and i hope that you can find some peace with yourself. it's one of those split second things and we just can't humanly be there to 'protect' our kidlets 100% of the time.

I also hope that you can find some resolution in how to cope and deal with your sister and her son (what a nightmarish situation to be place in). I am sorry that she got defensive, sometimes it is the first and immediate reaction when we feel bad - i am sure that she is privvy to her son's behaviour, but maybe is just completely overwhelmed by the situation with him and has tried to block it out ITMS.

In all honesty when i read your OP i thought that maybe he might of (even accidently!) stepped on her leg. she might of just been in the wrong place at the right time while the bigger kids were in a deep state of play iykwim and she just got underfoot...but i guess we can hypothesise til the cows come home unless the little boy feels ok enough to explain what happened.

to you and your bubba girl xx

[Jas]

My ds broken his collarbone from softly rolling off our bed (he's 2.5yrs and rolled on purpose) but as a leg I would highly doubt you could roll and break it! If so it is something that surely would require further investigation. I think the fact of the matter is a eg doesn't break when a baby rolls over, they are obviously lying. It is very sad that your sister is pushing the blame towards you when it is obvious your kids are lying I would be very intent on finding out the truth if I was her. Why are her kids lying etc etc

Perhaps your nephew is just badly behaved maybe it comnes from a lack of discipline or a form of disorder or learnign difficulty or perhaps something more serious as has been suggested. I guess the best you can do is nicley talk to your sister about your concerns and hope she does something about it.

I hope you dd heals really quickly, I am so sorry I know how horrible it feels to have a child with a broken arm. xo