My experience:
At 18 months DD began a cycle of chronic constipation which was traumatic for both of us - holding on to poos, screaming, fear, fissures... None of the traditional solutions worked, prunes, dried fruit, increase in liquids, diet high in fibre, pears, prune or pear juice, etc. It was exhausting keeping on top of her diet and her motions. We couldn't leave the house on the days I knew she needed to do a poo as it would take all day and require lots of cuddling and sometimes interventions from me. I felt so bad for her and was at a loss as I knew her diet was wonderful. Pleanty of fluids and fresh fruit and veg.
Doctors said that some children just have slow bowels, but I sought other opinions. I just refused to believe that a child that had previously been able to poo without a problem could suddenly have a sluggish bowel. It just did not make sense to me. I figured there had to be more to it, had to be a reason behind it. I saw a nutritionist as well and she was dumbfounded. I had a month worth of records of food eaten and motions passed and she could not see any reason for DDs issues. We finally sought a referral to a paed GI specialist
The pediatrician threw out all of my carefully documented diet notes

and told me that children's constipation is rarely about diet. Unfortunately we tend to treat children like mini adults and approach their medical care regarding constipation as if they are adults when their bodies work quite differently. This was the first thing I had heard in such a long time that was beginning to make sense to me. Basically, he explained that for children, constipation that goes beyond the short term is pretty much psychological. It hurts to do a poo, the child holds on. Finally they have to pass a motion and the result is of course a painful constipated large hard poo = pain. A-ha, the child thinks, "I knew this poo thing was painful" and so holds on again. So the cycle continues. So the trick to fixing it is to create an easy, soft painless poo for an extended period so that the child forgets the pain associated and can resume normal bowel habits. The best way to do this is to provide a laxative.
But not all laxatives are created equal.
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Fiber will bulk out the stools to help provoke a contraction and movement - not what you want here as you want the experience to be easy and not add to the trauma.
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Osmotic agents designed to pull water into the intestine, and again enlarge the bulk, stimulating contractions. Not great here as your toddler is desperately trying to avoid passing a big poo plus these laxatives can lead to dehydration (sugar is an osmotic agent and is often recommended for children with constipation. The side effect to using it is that it is also a substance that can cause constipation so in this situation is best avoided)
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Stimulant laxatives will cause increase contractions by irritating the bowel and can lead to a perpetuation of chronic constipation as they can cause 'lazy bowel' where the body becomes dependent on their use.
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stool softeners help liquids to mix with the stool to make it easier to pass and
lubricants help coat the stool and bowel with oil which help make passing the stool easier. Definitely what you want in this situation.
The best for this situation is a lubricant and the one recommended to me was Parachoc. It is basically liquid paraffin which helps lubricate the bowel. I was advised to use parachoc daily (at an increased dose - 20ml or at least until you can see the effects of the oil in the stools) for at least 6 months. This will mean that the motions are soft and painless for a long period and the pain associated with doing a poo should be broken. You have to be religious about administering it, missing a day and causing a mildly firm poo will bring back all the fear again and set you back. We are just at the end of our 6 months now and I am in the process of weaning DD off it, a few mLs less every few days. The best bit, *it has worked*! DD now has a regular poo without incident. They are getting firmer and more normal as we decrease the parachoc and she doesn't seem to have a problem. (DD is now 2yrs 8mo)
I can't tell you the relief it was to get all this information and the relief I felt to firstly know that DD was not destined to a life of bowel trouble and secondly, I, as the person responsible for her diet, was not responsible.
I think this covers everything we went through and I hope this offers you some insight to your situation and some hope. All the best
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