Sounds to me you guys are doing everything you can!
Call me silly, but I wouldn't have thought fruit could do the damage?!?!
My 2 eat at least 1 - 2 peaches a day. HEAPS of grapes each day, and have just finished off a box of apples my dad sent over from Tassie! And these were by no means, small childsize apples! I struggled to finish one, but my girls scoffed them like lollies!
As for brushing their teeth, sounds like you are ensuring they brush them!
You have me scared of taking my two to the dentist !
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