That really sounds like an emotional roller coaster you on
I was reading an acticle in Melbourne's Child that sounds identical to your situation. I have just rang them to see if they have a copy of the article, it may be totally different to what is going on, it just sounded familiar. (they are hopefully going to get back to me).
I can't recall what the outcome was.. I think it had something to do with reflux, quite an unusual from of? The little boy in the article was quite old (Primary School age) when they eventually worked out what it was.
I hope your situation improves and the ENT can also shed some light on what is going on.
Is your DD old enough to articulate what she is feeling when she eats?