to circumsize or not to circumsize?

[Adnil]

Merrie, I don't think it is 'immoral' for parents to do what they believe is in the best interests of their child. I don't think anyone who chooses to circumsize makes the decision lightly & certainly to call it 'mutilating' is a bit unfair. I understand that you feel it is wrong, but what is wrong for you may be right for someone else - this is not the place to judge each other but to support & help each other make the decisions that are right for us - even if they are different!

[merrie]

Linda, I certainly understand your point, and I certainly try to be open minded and supportive of others but I could never be supportive of someone who decided to circumcise their child.

My purpose however isn't to upset or anger any particular person but to express myself and my beliefs.

I think in all things there is a certain point where we have to draw the line regarding what we believe is right and wrong and I believe circumcision is wrong. If I said that I respected other parents right to do this to their children for any reasons but medical ones it would be dishonest and like other issues things can't change unless we stand up for what is right.

I chose the word mutilation not because I wanted to cause offense but because mutilation means "To make imperfect by excising or altering parts" and little boys naturally have foreskins they are there because they should be.

[BellyBelly]

Thanks to everyone for your opinions, let's not let the debate get heated. (not saying it is but let's all just voice our opinions and experiences and move on).

I had considered getting Elijah done before he was born, but as soon as he was in my arms there was no way I was doing it, he was perfect as he was

[barbie-up]

Hi - In the late 60's and 70's when Nick and his bothers were born apparently they just took new born boys off and did them wihtout consent or anthing from the parents !

I think thats where the higher percentages of problems reported in the pamphlet may have come from, and Dr Tom, Dr **** (no pun) or Dr Harry was doing them, these days you have to find someone who specialises in this area as not all doctors do them.

The dr who did Alexs' was fantastic - Jewish doctor who has been doing them for over 20 years, so over 6,000 snips and he said in that time he had had two come back that needed fixing.

[layla]

I had an interesting conversation with Sean (who is now nearly 11) the other night. He was asking about the difference between cicumsized v uncircumsized.
(Sean is not circumsized but DH is.)
After expaining it he seemed surprised to hear that his dad is done. He had NEVER noticed the difference. He said that they look different anyway, ie size, shape, hair etc. I guess that by the time Sean develops to that extent he won't be seeing his Dad naked anymore to compare anyway.
So there goes the theory of needing to be the same as Dad.

[Melbo]

Yep, my brother was not circumcised but our Dad is ... it was never an issue for either of them.

[min]

Dee, that is a great comment, I agree with that wholeheartedly, "if it's there, it's there for a reason", ah, except perhaps with tonsils, LOL!

[Melbo]

Oh and the appendix!

How can something so useless cause so much trouble? =))

[Astrid]

"if it's there, it's there for a reason",

Hmm, not so sure anymore as we now wear clothing, I was under the impression that is was there for protection from the elements etc. Clothing does that now. I have a problem with this argument, just think about body hair, it used to have a purpose, but we now remove it, yes it can grow back, but there are now methods to remove it permanently.

DH is pro circumcision, I am kind of divided, but leaning towards pro. So my attitude is, that if he wants it done that badly, as his father he can arrange it etc (that is assuming we have another child that is a boy).

Well that's my thoughts on this for now, so I will get back in my corner 8-[

[layla]

I am not 100% for or against. I know that I personally think a circumsized one looks "nicer" but when it came to it DH and I couldn't see any good reason to do it to our new baby boy, who like Kelly said of Elijah, was perfect!
As far as useless bits of anatomy goes, what about male nipples, should we chop them off too? :-k

[Beckibee]

As a woman with an un-circumcised DH (hope he never reads that I divulged this! *L*), I have to admit I've never seen what a circumcised one actually looks like! :shock:

I understand the religion/culture arguments and I think this topic is certainly an eyeopener. As a Mommy that turns into a mess just taking her daughter for her 2 month injections (all three of them! *sigh* And a new set of them due in 2 weeks...wah!), I'm not sure I could stand there and have it done to my son unless there were serious health complications if it weren't done IYKWIM?

That said, if it was very important to my DH to have it done for his son; I think I would consider it. I totally respect anyone who chooses to have it done for their male children; it's their choice.

[Netty]

If we have a boy, I cant say how I will feel once I am holding hm but currently, I am leaning towards alowing my husband to make the decision and it is liekly to be, lets get it done.

My DH's foreskin split the second time he had sex :eek: at about the age of 17. It actually ended up badly infected and he had to get circumcised. As you can imagine, the whole debarcle was very traumatising for him. He said he definitely lost alot of sensitivity and as an over all result he is really not that fazed by sex. Becuase of this he has said he would not want his son to go through what he did and I am happy to support this decision.

Having said that, we will probably have all girls!

[*Rae*]

I also believe "each to their own" and can understand why some people choose to circumsize their sons. For me and my DH it's probably for religious reasons why we choose NOT to circumsize our future sons - if we have any. Cause God put the foreskin there for a reason and when He created man He believed his creation to be perfect.

Now i'm not saying we shouldn't tamper with the appearance of our bodies because we should completely accept them as God created, as i can admit i'd seriously consider breast implants when i've finished breastfeeding all my chn, but if the time comes for me to make that decision I am choosing that for myself - with careful consideration and research.

After reading through this entire thread i can see how important the decision of circumsition can be - therefore shouldn't it be left to those who own the penis to decide???? Just my opinion - i say this with absolutely no judgement and agree with how impressive the posts have been within this thread. Thank you all for some informative reading

[Kar]

Just on the conventional wisdom that little boys need to look like dad, I have two brothers - one is and one isn't and that means one doesn't look like Dad. He doesn't seem to be traumatised in any way about not looking the same as his brother or his dad.

[Missy]

Hi

I had my son done at the age of 2 days for a couple of reasons. first its alot easier to clean. 2rd for the reason that my sister boy isnt done and he is 15 now and has been told that if it gets infected again he will have to be done. Any time after 6 months or it could evern be younger they need to be knocked out and its very painfull. My son had a local and had the bell type done where they make alittle cut and put like a bell on the knob and it falls off around 5 days and then thats done. He didnt evern cry. If I had another son I would also get him done. Stuff like daddy like son. Thats not how it has to be!!!!

[Mum2boy]

My boy of 4 months isn't circumsised, but I know when I was pregnant I did a lot of looking into it also.

I assumed that most boys were still getting done, but was really shocked that the highest in one state was about 20% .

I have heard the arguments from either side, but I found it really hard to reason to get it done just because their father may be done. Why? Most boys are more likely to see what other boys are like (like in urinals & change rooms etc) than they are going to see their dads. And the fact is majority of boys aren't being done.

I am also a single mum, so I knew that I didn't have to worry what the father wanted. But I was concerned about how to approach the 'keeping it clean' as they grew older. I suppose I will cross that bridge when I get it!!

[~Jo~]

The whole its cleaner argument just doesnt sit with me. I have 3 gorgeous girls and I cant say I ever thought to myself..omg a vagina..i will have to teach them to wash it..and the same goes for my son ..normal hygiene applies just like his ears, nose, legs I absolutely believe it is there for a reason!!! And we now know that masturbation doesnt need to be curbed so we dont need to lop the foreskin off boys in an attempt to stop masturbation!!! Wearing clothes to me doesnt allieviate the need for a foreskin...same as we dont remove the labia from our vaginas because we have clothes. I honestly believe that if the choice has to be made it should be the boy in question making decisions for himself...barring religious or medical neccesity.

Jo

[pollyanna]

Hi girls,
When my son was born my hubby and i had decided that we would circumcise him. But that wasnt the result. He ended up being a special care baby and son we couldnt find a surgeon to do him whilst in care. They all ahd the opinion it was better to wait until he was 6 months old. When i finally did get him home, there was no way i could put him through any more drama;so we boycotted the idea.
Many years transpired;i suspected when he was in grade 1;that we were going to have problems as his foreskin was still completely adhered on one side. Whenever he showered if he was slightly too excited about washing he would slightly tear the skin and we would end up with lots of tears pain and antibiotics.
I went and saw many specialists;all with differing opinions. The one i saw at the rch i liked the best. he said the problem would certainly right itself but who knows when and it was highly likely that it could take till puberty. So i thought that means even more years of this ongoing problem and i was also worried about the psychological impact-as i didnt want him having a pain association with intamacy when he is older.
So i decided to have him circumscised at 9 years. It was a lot less traumatic than i ever imagined. he had 2 weeks off school because i didnt want to risk any of his peers bumping him. He went for about 4 days with no jocks;he just wore a towel around his hips. Topically we applied vaseline;hardly any blood loss. Quite a bit of blistering and scabbing,but he bounced back so quickly and is now a lot less concerned about the whole showering thing.

Pauline