10 Week Old - Fighting sleep all day long

[Haydies]

Hi all,

My DD has started fighting sleep during the day, and I'm finding myself starting to get a little frustrated - not at her, but at the fact I get nothing done.

Background:
This is a more recent thing. 4 weeks ago I could put her down in her bouncer, flick on the vibration and she'd sleep for anywhere between 2 - 4 hours. Now, the moment I put her down from my chest to the bouncer, she wakes up.

A few weeks ago, she would happily sleep on me for hours. I could tilt back in my computer chair and have her resting high on my chest / shoulder area, and I could still use two hands to type. Now, she will do that but she is awake 15 minutes later.

Car trips used to see her sleep for the length of the trip and then some - ie I could come back from the bakery, pull her gently out of the car and put her in the bouncer once inside and she would stay asleep. The past week or so we've been waking after 15 - 20 mins in the car.

She's never slept in her cot and no matter how asleep she is when I put her down, she wakes up. I've basically given up on the cot for now. That's fine because we co-sleep anyway.

Night Times:
My problem is only during the day. Night times she sleeps perfectly! We co-sleep, and although she won't normally go down until 11pm ish (and trust me I have tried everything to make that time earlier), once we are down for the night, we only wake for a 4am feed, and then sometimes around 7/8am. We also sleep until around 11am in the morning.

So if we go down at say 11pm, we wake around 4am ish, then around 7-8am ish, and then again at 11am ish. Once I am up though, the problem of fighting sleep all day begins.

Me causing it?
I'm wondering if I have actually been causing the problem? Xmas was not something I was looking forward to this year. My sleep started to suffer in the past two weeks, and even my milk supply dropped off considerably - to the point where I was actually worried I had run out / stopped on Xmas day.

Now, part of me is almost hoping this is the problem, because now that Xmas is over, my stress levels will hopefully drop and if that was the cause, the it should start fixing itself, right?

My biggest worry is that, that wasn't the problem. And if it isn't, then I've got no clue what it might be. I've gone back to the fear of "rod for my own back" because I can't allow her to lie there and cry. I've started trying to get her to sleep alone in my bed, and although I can sometimes get her her to sleep and sneak out, I never get more than an hour before she wakes up fully because I'm not there. Sometimes I don't even get the hour.

At 10 weeks old, which I know isn't THAT old, I still thought I would be able to put her down during the day for a nap. All Xmas day my SIL kept telling me that her DD's cot was there, go put her in the cot, etc. It was hard to keep saying "no no, I'm fine" because I couldn't tell them that she doesn't sleep alone. (MIL is all about controlled crying, SIL isn't much different)

Seeking any and all advice, tips, tricks or information. Or even just to hear that this is normal and will pass. I'm really really worried about the whole rod thing as each day passes...

[Ozziehoffy]

to you. Sounds to me you're doing a great job with her!! So a big woohoo there for you and she's sleeping great as you said for the night time. Oskar did change his day sleeps too... when he was little he slept really well for a little while then he started not allowing me to even put him down as he'd wake within 10/15 mins!! Oskar decided though that he liked to sleep on his tummy during the day and did this until he was around 5 months old. He would sleep for an hour or so. I was fine with this as it was daytime and I kept a close watch on him and he could lift his head and turn it anyway. The other thing which worked was him in the HAB so I could still do things. It will pass - well has for me anyway - for the most part he stays asleep when I put him down these days. I'm not sure why he went through that phase ... maybe they're adjusting to making sure we're still there and haven't left them?? If you're comfortable with it maybe try to put her on her tummy for her day sleep? Hope something works for you but you're doing great even if it doesn't feel like you are!

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

You're doing exactly what I'm doing! Awesome! my baby is a co-sleeping boob girl too and i've just started her on cloth nappies

Anyway, my daughter is 3 1/2 months and she went through this phase as well, around 2 months old. It was just a phase, and she got over it fairly easily. I completely agree that you shouldn't leave her to cry, if something feels horrible and wrong, chances are, it is. I don't really have any advice, my daughter and I just struggled through it and now she's a fantastic sleeper - she nods off whenever she feels like more and more often. In fact, I was shopping today and I was sitting on seat with her perched on my knee and she nodded off just sitting there! It was hillarious. I often put her down because I have to quickly do something and return to find her asleep all by her ickle bickle self! So all I can say is that I completely agree with everything you're doing, and hang in there because it will get better!

Can you put Savannah in her baby-sling and go about your day that way? Aurelia wouldn't have a bar of it but perhaps your bub is less fussy! If she allows, you could prop her up with pillows near you and do your daily stuff. At this age, Aurelia wouldn't let me do that lol, but again, maybe Savannah won't mind.

P.S
God, aren't MILs awful? Mine always tells me that I'm spoiling Aurelia because I always hold her if she cries etc. She tells me off for not giving her bottles of water as well (even though she's breastfed). Sigh!

[Haydies]

I have a HUB which we love, although I do tend to forget it when I am home. I'm not so much worried about not getting things done though - housework can always wait hehe. I was just really worried yesterday that my stress from the past couple of weeks had distrupted her / threw her out of sinc.

Xmas was not a time I was looking forward to. My relationship with my mum went so downhill in the lead up to Xmas that on Xmas night (I was seeing her Boxing Day) I was ready to cut her out of my life. Xmas day was at SIL #2's house and I was dreading it, and her with her "just leave them" advice. It got to the point I was having nightmares all night long, that is when I was actually sleeping. And my milk supply was dropping by the day (although after the past two days of working really hard to stay relaxed and mind empty, I woke up with full breasts this morning, woot!)

Yesterday he was awake from 9am in the morning through till around 10pm at night and had only had 2 x 15 minute naps, and 1 x 20 minute nap. That just doesn't seem like enough for a little baby. The most obvious factor was her waking up after 15 minutes in situations that normally see her sleeping for much longer. In the car, and on me were always places she could sleep for hours, yet she seemed to be waking after just a few minutes. I felt bad for her too as I could see she was sooooo tired.

I was really worried, that because we co-sleep especially, that my stress levels had disrupted her system and was causing her not to be able to sleep. Or, if that wasn't the case, if there was something else I should be looking for. It just seemed so odd that 4 weeks ago she would sleep fine during the day, and yesterday she was awake all day.

That said, she did fall asleep around 10pm and we got up at 11am this morning - nappy change at 7am, but straight back to bed. Maybe with those really long sleeps over night, she's just not needing as much during the day?

[Janie]

Don't stress that you have done anything wrong, you sound like a fantasitc mummy! I think your DD sounds pretty normal.....babies will be babies, and that means changing things ALL THE TIME. What they did four weeks ago bears no relation to what they will do NOW. My DS is constantly changing his sleep patterns. I try really hard now to go with the flow, and follow his lead.

We often have days where he doesn't sleep much, and I worry that he's not getting enough. But he usually makes up for it sometime. Some babies just don't need that much, especially if they sleep well at night. I think an hour is a reasonable sleep, but that's just going off my bub! Don't forget, as babies get older, their sleeping changes alot. DS used to sleep with all sorts of noise going on around him, but that slowly changed. By four months, he was in his cot with the door shut! We co-sleep at night, but he starts off in his cot as he won't settle in bed with us.....go figure!

I agree, don't leave her to cry, especially if you're not happy with it. I also have family that always wanted me to put him down.......I sympathise! you do what makes you feel happy, and be confident! YOU are Savannah's mummy, YOU know what's best for her. Please don't make yourself sick over this, it WILL get easier.

ETA Sorry if this post is garbled, I'm in a bit of a rush!

[EJE]

I am going through the exact same problems with my 5 week old son. Since he was born,and until Christmas day he had heaps of visitors, and was often nursed to sleep, or would sleep when he was held. The problem that I now have is that he won't sleep during the day unless he is cuddled. Alhough I would love to just cuddle him all day, this really isn't practical, and I am not really able to get anything done, or any sleep during the day all. It is making me very very tired and run down. Over all he is pretty good at sleeping at night, waking about once maybe twice. The funny thing is he is happy to sleep by himself at night. Have I created a huge problem to undo by teaching him to sleep whilst cuddled during the day? He seems to be getting overtired and grumpy without the naps. Any suggestions on how to undo this, and to get him to have a few naps during he day.

[Haydies]

Just wanted to come and update that we are back to sleeping during the day again, so I assume it was just a phase. Now we just have the other little problem of not being able to self settle. I was hoping by 11 weeks in she might feel safe enough to not have to sleep on me. -> Can I help her to learn to self settle?