2.5 year old co-sleeper

[Tanzz]

I need some help - I think.......

My DD is 2.5 and is still sleeping with DH and I in our bed at night. We put her to sleep in our bed by reading, kissing, turning off the light and lying down next to her (one of us or both - mostly DH at night and me at daytime sleep).
Routine takes between 30 to 50 but sometimes 90 mins depending
My first question is: is this normal?

Anyway we have never left her alone to settle. (Except I admit twice in desperation many moons ago I left her to wail )

The current arrangement works well for me - I love being so near A.B. and having her wake up beside me is easy for lazy old me (DH is long gone to work)
But it is not working wonders for our sex life (TMI?) and I'm scared that she wont settle by herself ever or wont sleep well in her own room etc (she wakes up in the middle of the night if we have a mattress beside the bed - and even when she's in our bed she wakes up and roots around for a cuddle).

Anyway I need ideas
How did you ladies that have kidlets in their own rooms who self settle etc do it gently????????
What can I do at this age?
I think I'm ready to make the move. I know DH is.....


Wow sorry for the waffle - I hope you are able to get my point...
Thanks
Tanzz & A.B.