2.5 year old co-sleeper

[Tanzz]

I need some help - I think.......

My DD is 2.5 and is still sleeping with DH and I in our bed at night. We put her to sleep in our bed by reading, kissing, turning off the light and lying down next to her (one of us or both - mostly DH at night and me at daytime sleep).
Routine takes between 30 to 50 but sometimes 90 mins depending
My first question is: is this normal?

Anyway we have never left her alone to settle. (Except I admit twice in desperation many moons ago I left her to wail )

The current arrangement works well for me - I love being so near A.B. and having her wake up beside me is easy for lazy old me (DH is long gone to work)
But it is not working wonders for our sex life (TMI?) and I'm scared that she wont settle by herself ever or wont sleep well in her own room etc (she wakes up in the middle of the night if we have a mattress beside the bed - and even when she's in our bed she wakes up and roots around for a cuddle).

Anyway I need ideas
How did you ladies that have kidlets in their own rooms who self settle etc do it gently????????
What can I do at this age?
I think I'm ready to make the move. I know DH is.....


Wow sorry for the waffle - I hope you are able to get my point...
Thanks
Tanzz & A.B.

[Nadine216]

Welcome to BB

I have NO idea what you can do, exept by letting her sleep on a matress in your room and that you can mark with a tick, right???

Or what about moving her out. Go buy her a bedspread that she likes (take her with you) and make a fuss about decorating her room in the way that she likes. Then you can start by maybe moving bedtime stories to her bed and get under the covers with her to read and when she is sleeping, just get up and move to your own bed. If she gets up in the night, she can come to you (Just realized - can a 2.5 year old have her own bed yet??? ) Sorry !!! That was useless

I just wanted to add that I was in stiches about the word waffle - I love it.

[computethis]

In my personal opinion, I think it is perfectly normal because I have had all three of my boys in my bed from birth, and my 3 year old is still in my bed. I haven't attempted the move with him yet because I don't think he is ready or maybe I?m not. I found that forcing the issue made the older two very insecure and that got them & me nowhere.

My friends on the other hand have all frowned on it and have been full of criticism. Call me lazy but I found that night time breast feeding was a lot easier and we all got a lot more sleep, and I enjoyed having them close.
When I felt that it was time for them to start getting use to their own space I started out with a mattress or another bed in the room that I slowly introduced. They woke up at least once a night and sometimes come back into our bed but eventually realized that they were in the same room.
My oldest just decided one day that enough was enough and he wanted his own independence and moved into his own room. He did have his off nights with bad dreams and scary noises ect, but he knew he could come in to our room again if he needed to.

My middle son was introduced into a room with his older brother for 18 months which went well and then into his own room. Some nights we would have to lay down with him while he went to sleep and others he would sleep through. Lots of patience and understanding. He still comes into our room occasionally though.
My youngest is still in my bed and I am completely fine with that, (my partner is out of town with work most of the time) but it has meant for us when he is home on RNR that the bedroom is off limits for sex. But I have found that there are positives to that to. It isn?t boring.

Make the move when you feel comfortable and you think your bub is ready for it.
I hope this kinda helps, good luck with it

[MantaRay]

it has meant for us when he is home on RNR that the bedroom is off limits for sex. But I have found that there are positives to that to. It isn?t boring.

It just takes a little innovation! A friend of mine was asked by her boss (can you believe?) how she DTD while co-sleeping. She just looked at him in mock shock and said "oh, don't tell me you only do it at night and you only do it in the bedroom?". Love it!

But seriously Tanzz, if you are ready to move her out, then I would suggest doing it gradually. Does she have day sleeps in her own bed? If so try moving the matress from your bedroom into her room, and start by sleeping in there with her for the first few nights. Then try lying in there for a while but leaving. Once you can do that, try sitting in there and then leaving. Just take it gently and see how you go. If she doesn't already sleep in her own bed during the day, use the same approach, but start by getting her used to her new room by playing with her in there and making sure that she feels safe and happy in the room. HTH.

[Astrid]

We recently moved our DD from the bedroom to her bed at just over 2 1/2. Once she got settled she now does sleep better in her own bed, that could be due to no longer being near DH snoring. We do have nights where she comes into us, but I don't have a problem with that. Our main problem is weaning her off me and onto DH for sleep, but she still needs me. We were also weaning her of breastfeeding to sleep. Unfortunately there were tears, we did try to avoid them, but she was a very determined feeder and I needed to stop.

We started off by moving her onto a mattress once she was asleep, some nights she would even move herself down and fall to sleep there. The we started to move her to a cot (with the side of) in her own room, there were a few backs and forths between the rooms, but eventually she decided it was ok to sleep in the cot. Due to another bubs coming along we went out and bought her a big girl bed. She was there when we chose it and got her approval. We let her pick the bedding as well. She was very excited to be getting her own bed, but it did not go down very well. We have had to deal with scared issues. If we were to do it over again, we would move her straight into the bed rather than the cot.

Most nights now it takes 30-45 minutes to get her to sleep (the odd night 90 min ). We start off with reading, I have a chair beside her bed. She can either sit beside me or in bed. We go through a heap of books and she will either fall asleep in my arms or move into her bed. The light goes off and I will sit there whilst she goes to sleep. There is still the odd battle with her bouncing between the bed and me, or not wanting the light out, hungry etc. It is getting better though. Now we just need to get DH more involved and I would like to get to a stage where after tucking her in after reading she will go to sleep by herself in about 10 mins.