22 month old won't stay in bed

[skeetaboat]

FWIW my son is 2.5 and we still stay with him until he goes to sleep. DH is very involved in it and often does it. Other times it's a family affair, and soemtimes he just wants mum. Yeah, sometimes it would be nice to just put him in bed & shut the door, but for the most part we love it as much as he does. Life gets busy & hectic during the day & story time is the one time of the day where it's just us, no distractions, electronic devices, phones, noises, demands, etc, etc. We talk about his day, make up imaginary stories, sing the alphabet, talk about upcoming events, etc. It's a great time to connect, share, laugh and learn. It's such a lovely time that we all look forward to. We figure that he will only be so little for such a short time in the scheme of things, and it's not like we're going to look back and go, geez, I wish we'd trained that kid better and had more time to watch CSI Miami when we were in our thirties, yanno?

We've managed to keep it up despite DS2 coming onto the scene a few months ago. It just so happens that DS2 goes down for the night just before DS1's bed time, but if he's still awake, we just bring him in with us and he's usually content just to lie there with us.

It sounds like you're on your own a fair bit so it might be a little more challenging for you, but I'm sure you'll be able to find a system that works if you don't manage to get him going to sleep on his own before bubs comes. I guess I'm just trying to say, don't stress yourself and LO out if it's not working. xxx

[MummyTummy]

My thoughts are that perhaps DS is missing his Dad and so is acting up. That's two things he's dealing with - Dad gone and a new bed. I know you put him in the new bed 3 months ago, but the bed is still fairly new to him and with your DH gone it might just be upsetting enough to him - possibly to even think that you might go too so he has to spend as much time with you as possible.

Can I ask if he is actually leaving his room or just getting out of his bed? If he is just getting out of bed then perhaps just leave him to it (make sure his room is toddler prrof!!) and then go and check on him in 15 mins. Then put him back to bed, and leave again. But if he is leaving his room you could either put a child gate on his door to stop him leaving, or perhaps just give up on the idea that you can leave the room. At least while his Dad is gone.

Good luck. We have our second due in May and we have been co-sleeping with DS up until a week ago. We put him in to his toddler bed in our room, to keep the surroundings familiar. So far so good. As for him going in to his own room I will see how we go, but I am happy that he is in his own bed for now.

Mum2MissM - I went and saw Pinky McKay the other night talking about toddler tactics and she mentioned that a (psychologist maybe?) pointed out to her that toddlers often start difficult behaviour 6 months after a major upheaval, traumatic event etc. The reason I mention it is that there were a few people there that had toddlers that were acting up and sure enough each of them had something that was a major event approx 6 months before - one moved house and toddler went from co-sleeping in old house, to new bed in new room in new house. Another one was in and out of hospital with toddler in tow. So is there anything that could have upset your DD approx 6 months ago?

[[M]umma[M]ia]

ide get out of bed every 20 seconds too if it meant mummy would put me back with happy, cheery kisses and cuddles......

[MummyTummy]

MummyTummy, we moved in September from a unit to a house. She is also currently being toilet trained. She has been in a new room for about a month now (we changed her to a bigger room as baby is coming along and will be in the smaller room now) and she has a new single bed (from toddler bed) the last 3 weeks now. I never thought of all of this may be contributing to it???? Perhaps it is. Since moving to the new house, the new room and the new bed, she has slept through though no problems until 2 nights ago...

She slept in her bed last night with no screaming but she did walk into our room and hop into our bed at 3.50am, went to sleep around 4.30am and then up again at 5.30am.

Think it is just best to go with the flow.

Yeah, sounds like big changes for her - new house, TT, new room, new bed.... soon to be new sibling.... and yeah like I said, it can take up to 6 months for the problem behaviour to actually come out. You might have to deal with this for some time yet - it might be bed wetting or TT regressing next. it doesn't go on for too long though, but I agree, just go with the flow for now and let her start to feel secure again in her own time. And try not to make a big deal about the behaviour, because that will just add to her stress. good luck! Pinky's book 'Toddler Tactics' explains all this in a bit more detail and probably more sense than me too, if you are interested in reading about it.

[MummyTummy]

Oh good to hear!! Poor little thing!