thankyou so much for all your replies! my DS never fed to sleep, he used to just settle himself in his cot, so this is new territory for me. some nights i dont mind at all, it is lovely to have that last cuddle before she goes to bed. but other nights it seems to take forever and i get frustrated thinking of all the millions of things i need to do before i can go to bed too.....

also feeding her to sleep can be stressful when im trying to get the 4 year into bed at the same time, i just have to keep her awake until i can get him in bed, which i hate doing but ive no other choice cause if i put her in her cot she will scream her head off. i cant get her to sleep before he goes to bed, cause its too noisy and he will keep waking her up just when shes ready to be put down.... and i have to start all over again .

i might look into that book you suggested and see how i go. thanks again!