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Thread: Crying - Picking Up

  1. #1

    Default Crying - Picking Up

    As soon as we put our baby down, she will start crying. We've had it where she's basically nodded off in our arms, then soon as she goes down, she wakes up screaming (could be the silent reflux that is doing this).

    Anyway, I had heard about picking your baby up til she settles, then putting her down. When she screams, pick her up again, then put her down. Eventually she learns that you are right there should she need you and happily goes to sleep in her cot. Has anyone heard of this? If so - how long do you let them cry in their bed before picking up (is it instant, or should you wait, say, a couple minutes?) and when she's settled in your arms before you put her down, do you wait til she's been quiet for a couple of minutes, or do you put her down basically as soon as she stops screaming? I just dont know if I'm leaving too long between each step, or if I'm moving too quickly.

    Also, she's currently waking every hour (or every 2-hours) during the night (again, could be due to reflux) but I had heard that to stop the baby expecting the boob each time, you can give them a dummy to settle them or give them water. My baby wont take either! Is there a Plan C to try, so she stops expecting the boob every time?!


  2. #2
    Melinda Guest


    May I ask how old your baby is? In the early days they do need to feed very frequently and this will help build your supply too.

    When you say you put her down she wakes up screaming straight away, is it that you have put her down before she is 'properly' asleep? One test is to pick her arm up and see if it flops down or if there is any resistance - if there's resistance, she's not in a proper sleep yet. So if that's the case, she's more likely to wake when you put her into her cot/bassinette.

    Taking into account the age of your baby, babies can need your help to get to sleep for quite some time. They don't know how to settle themselves and rely on you to help them.

    In terms of picking your baby up when she cries - I guess that's an individual thing and what you believe in. We have always been of the belief "upset = hands on, happy = hands off" when it comes to sleep. So for us that means settling our babies in whatever manner we find suits them best and provides comfort. We also try to listen to the cry to try to work out what they are telling us. We know that sometimes Ruby has a little wind down grizzle (this is different to a full on cry!) - you can hear the tiredness in it and it's a lower pitch to her "I'm upset cuddle me now" which is quite loud and higher pitched. Jacob would not really have a wind down grizzle - he needed us right then IYKWIM. It can take a while to work out what the cries mean, but I think when in doubt, give them a cuddle!

    Not sure if this has helped?

  3. #3


    With my DD she falls asleep in my arms too. What i find is if you wait 5-10 mins after u 'think' she is alseep and put her down then she settles herself. Or i stay by her cot for a few mins after to make sure she is ok. Rub her tummy even once she is in her cot. I find DD likes that and she knows im there still. Normally i let her cry for a good 5-10 mins before picking her up. If you keep picking her up i think she knows 'if i cry mum will pick me up' and wont settle then.

    Ive also been told if you rock them in your arms then they will always want it done and not settle them selves.....i dont believe in that....its working fine for me so i stick to it.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Boyne Island


    I guess it all depends on how old bub is? You could maybe put her in bed awake and sit by her side and comfort her that way. And just talk soothingly to her.

    What are you useing (if anything) for the silent reflux? Isaac (now 3) had something similar and we used a thickener. You can also use it while breastfeeding but you have to give a little bit before a feed. I expressed and added it to his bottles.

    Night waking will just depend on how old your bub is

  5. #5
    Melinda Guest


    Kim - Jacob was rocked to sleep in our arms for a long time, and as much as he doesn't go off to sleep all that well of a night time still (at almost 2.5) he isn't rocked to sleep these days. We sit with him now as that's better for him and us.

    I think it's all about making them feel safe and secure and if rocking does that, then it helps them to build confidence in their ability to go to sleep. You can easily transfer rocking in your arms, to rocking them in the cot, to just patting them, to just sitting with them - whatever transition you feel is required, or is dictated by your little one. It can be hard to work it all out at times and what works best for your baby!

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Sep 2004


    i guess it depends on what you feel is right. i actually don't put my babys down when they are sleeping and change their position if they start to snuffle to cry. i think it is ok for baby's to 'expect' to be offered the breast when they are upset and they soon grow out of this when they are ready. it sounds like you are having a tough time with your little girl waking frequently during the night, tired baby tired mummy - not good. have you thought about co-sleeping? this often encourages everyone to get more sleep as baby is often more settled because she feels safe and snuggly with mum & dad, but then again it isn't for everyone. so i guess it comes down to what you feel is right after all you know your baby best of all. good luck and sleepy dust to your little one

  7. #7


    Thanks everyone! My little girl is 3.5 months. I've had her sleep in her little bouncy chair in the lounge and have slept on the couch next to her, and she's only been waking up about 3 or 4 times between 7pm and 7am (which means I'm starting to feel more human again with getting more sleep!)

    For her reflux, we're giving her Zantac plus a homeopathy mixture plus she's getting treated by an Osteo. One of them (if not all!) is starting to help, and the screaming is slowly being reduced, and we're seeing more smiles from her again! (Yay!)

    I'm thinking she doesnt like her bedroom for some reason. When I take her in there at about 6pm for her wind-down at the end of the day, she starts crying and becoming sooky! I've never left her to 'cry it out' in her room (which, I've heard, can make a baby have bad associations with their room) or I don't recall anything bad happening for her in her room, so don't know why she does it. Soon as we bring her to the loungeroom, the crying stops! Maybe she just likes being where the action is?!!

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW


    Maybe its just be separated from you? We have Jovie sleep in our bedroom (half the night in the hammock & the other half in bed) and that way she knows I'm right next to her. During the day she sleeps in the lounge room, or in the sling. So I'm always close by. Some babies just need to stay close to their mummies a bit longer

    Can she got to sleep in the lounge room & then transfer? Or is too hard to have her in the room with you? I know with Jovie's reflux I much prefer her in our room, mainly due to the vomitting and pain associated with it. I want to be close on hand for her comfort.

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