I agree with Rachel that you may need to compromise to keep the peace. The other thing I think is that if you are going to leave your child with someone (whether it be DH, grandparents, childcare) you have to trust that they will do the best thing for the your child, even if it is not what you would do, as you are not there and there is no way you can control what someone does if you are not there.
I suspect your DH is OK with letting your DS cry for "up to 10 minutes" but would not be if it went on for too long so I think I would trust that he is doing the right thing. Giving him one of the books to read would be a good idea so he can compare their advice with his mums advice and be fully informed.