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Thread: Doing the wrong thing?

  1. #1
    Sal Guest

    Question Doing the wrong thing?

    Miles is 5m and still sleeps in his hammock next to our bed. He goes to bed between 6.30-8.30pm but then always wakes up at about 1-2am, then wakes up on the hour or hour and a half til 5am at which point he demands breakfast. My sister thinks I'm coddling him by having him in the room with us, although he'd wake us up from another room anyways, plus I just rock him to help him get back to sleep, I never talk to him so he never sees me at all. Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing? Any suggestions welcome! I am sooooo tired all the time


  2. #2

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    I don't think you are doing the wrong thing, but could you or DH be waking him up when you guys move around/make noises? Maybe it would help to move him a little further away from your bed.

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    Do you give him a feed at 1-2am when he wakes? Do you give him any feeds overnight at all? Do you think he might be cold?
    Kelly xx

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  4. #4

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    At 5 months I reckon you are doing the right thing, as long as it feels right for you & Miles.

    Sal, do you feed him when he wakes at 1-2am? Or just resettle? It may be that he genuinely needs the feed then?

    As for waking repeatedly after that, that is a pain. Is he cold perhaps? Or is it that he can hear you, and this keeps him alert?

    If it is any help, we had both Olivia and Charlie both in with us (in their hammocks, next to my side of the bed) until they were about 4 months, then moved into their own room, as this was the age that we started a bath/boob/bed routine in the evening. Plus Charlie is NOISY as he he sleeps and he was keeping me awake, LOL, so I was happy to move him.

    I don't think having Miles in with you is "coddling" at all, as long as you are all happy with it.

  5. #5
    Sal Guest

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    Thanks for your suggestions. I thought he might be cold, but we keep the room heated to 18-19 deg C during the night, and when we feel his chest he more often than not feels sweaty (has always been a sweaty baby and grosuits don't help). So I don't think he's cold.

    I haven't given him a feed during the night for about a month - he FF (*sigh*) and is taking nearly 1L of formula over 4 feeds. Is is worth trying another feed during the night? Or a top-up feed just before bed?

    I still worry about SIDS, so I think I'd be getting up heaps to check him if he was in another room, making my sleep worse. I'd hate to think that I or DH might be waking him up, though. We are in a 2 bedder so when we have guests he'd be back in with us anyhow.

    I'd love to know what The Answer is... he's such a good baby in every other way

  6. #6

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    You could try and give him a top up of formula either before bed or a quick feed when he wakes at 1am. It is hard when they get to this stage and they aren't quite ready for solids, but they start to need something more in their bellies IYKWIM?

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    I reckon another feed would do the trick then. What time is his last feed of the day normally?

    I know it is a pain to be heating bottles at 1am, but if that sees him through till say, 6pm, then at least YOU would get a lot more of a chunk of solid sleep.....

    I am not sure what formula Miles is on, but most 5 month olds generally still need 5 x 240ml formula feeds per day.

    (If it is any consolation, Charlie, at 11 months, still troffs through 4 x 240ml a day.....I think this is pretty standard)

    My suggestion would be to feed him just before he goes to bed, then feed him again when he wakes at 1-2am, and see if that makes a difference?

    Good luck...........

  8. #8
    Sal Guest

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    Thanks! I thought babies should never have more than 1L of formula???? His last feed is between 5-6pm. So I guess I could keep him awake a while then give him a top-up and see if that helps at all.

    On another side-note, he has been asleep 2 hours now. Is this too long in the late afternoon that will affect his sleep tonight? I ended up having to wake him at 5pm yesterday, he seemed like he was going to do his night's sleep starting at 3pm.

    Oh I have no idea what to do sometimes! Help!

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    Don't worry I still get that Sal and I have two!

    Elijah is 19 months and lately he's tried to crash at 3-4pm, I try to stretch him out though, even though it's painful for me not getting a rest LOL but it's so worth it - instead of having to deal with a wide awake toddler at 10-10.30pm!!!
    Kelly xx

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    Not sure where you got the info re volumes of formula? I think it varies depending on the brand? Which brand is Miles on? What does it suggest on the can for his age?

    Sal, it is a tricky one in terms of day sleeps.....how many does Miles have now?

    Charlie, at 5 months, was in a bit of a groove in that he would wake around 7am ish, then be all grumpy and scratchy at around 9.30am, so would sleep till about 11am. Then he would be on great form till about 2.30, and need another sleep. Some days he would be back up by 3.30, but other days he would sleep till around 5pm.......it really varies.

    Either way, the only constant was bath/feed/bed at around 7pm......for my sanity more than anything else!!

    I think most babies of 5 months have a capacity for around 2.5 hours awake time....before most of them get scratchy......but it really varies from day to day and from baby to baby!!

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    The amount they have really varies heaps between each baby. Lindsay was FF on Lactogen and at 5 months he was having 8 x 200ml feeds a day. He always loved his milk, and still does. But don't worry that Miles isn't having that much. And in a few more weeks he will start to have a bit of solids too.

  12. #12
    Sal Guest

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    Phew! Miles woke himself up! Re amount of sleep, well he's obviously not getting enough quality sleep through the night (with the awakenings) so it's roughly like this: wake at 5am, feed, play, sleep at 6am til 7-730am, then awake, feed at 9am, nap for about 45mins around 10am, then awake, feed at 1pm, nap around 2-3pm anywhere from 30 mins to 2 hrs+, then awake, feed at 5-5.30pm, awake til we coax him to sleep around 7.30 - 8.30pm.

    He's on Nan gold, the can says 4 x 210ml feeds, but we do 240 and he'll get through this no problem. An early childhood nurse told me that babies never have more than 1L of formula a day. So it's a figure I always think/worry about. Where she got that info, I don't know. I have started Miles on a taste (literally) of rice cereal now that he's 5m, only because he looks beggingly at me eating LOL. I'm only doing that once a day, I have no intention of solids displacing his nutrition.

    Now I'm really confused, I'm not sure where a 5th feed would fit, other than a half-feed at around 7.30pm, or during the night?

  13. #13

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    Don't stress too much about sleep hon, he's only little! Sleeping from 7-7 is just not what they are designed for at this age contrary to what many (childless) sleep experts try and sell us. Some will do it, but it's very rare! And even if they do, at some stage, it will likely change. They go through unsettled spurts all the time, usually during developmental stages, and they sleep less, cry more, more clingy - not always all but some. Grab a copy of Pinky's book, it's just not those who gentle parent, but for everyone who wants to adapt some gentle options to sleeping problems - this being one of them.

    I'm not saying to do nothing, but bear in mind that he's very normal and this is all very common, it just takes a bit of tweaking sometimes but don't dispair if nothing works because sometimes that's just motherhood...
    Kelly xx

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  14. #14

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    I'd try and give him that feed at 7.30 roughly to tide him over till morning. It may help him settle for the night too, because sometimes a later feed can make them sleepy (but not always *sigh*). When you think about it though, he is going from 5.30pm till 5 am without a feed - so maybe he is just waking up hungry.

    I don't think it was right for the MCHN to say that either, because like a BF baby, FF ones still need to have their milk and the amount will vary a lot from baby to baby

  15. #15

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    I think the girls have all given good advice. Matilda always had more than 1lt of formula when she went on it. She is a greedy guts & sometimes it was the only way to get her back to sleep at night. I think when she was around 8 months she was having 6 formula bottles of 210mls over a 24 hour period. HTH!

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    Yeah I think he may be hungry too, also it might be a good idea because if hes sweaty in the hammock then he may need extra fluid from that aswell

  17. #17

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    Aidyn was on more than 1L of formula for ages... I think he averaged around 1.25 litres most days at Miles's age, sometimes more - but usually not less than that.
    I also always gave him a dreamfeed bottle at about 10pm at night (or whenever I was about to head to bed) and this would tide him over until usually 7am (or thereabouts). Sometimes I would give him a morning bottle at 5 or 6am and he would go straight back to sleep again for another few hours (*sigh* those were the days!)

    I have never heard that bubs are not meant to have more than 1L of formula per day, .. I actually think it may be worth giving him an extra bottle during the night to see if it will help him sleep through till the morning.

    Goodluck Sal, I hope you get a decent nights sleep soon!!

  18. #18
    Sal Guest

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    Thanks girls! Funny how a MCHN would say something like that to me - if I'd never been told that I would have tried another bottle sooner! Ah well, will try it tonight!

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