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Thread: Is this dummy a problem?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    Default Is this dummy a problem?

    Hi Parents!
    Wondering what your thoughts are on our 'situation'. Kai is 11 weeks old. He has never been a good sleeper during the day and is a very 'sucky' baby. In the past 2 weeks it became MUCH easier to get him to sleep - we'd put him in the bassinet rock him a few times, he'd grizzle for a couple of minutes (not upset, just havin' a whinge!) and then he'd drop off. He'd still only sleep for 1/2 hour at a time, but that's a different issue! Sometimes lately, if he was a bit upset, I'd give him the dummy and that calmed him right down and he'd go to sleep. Now, for the past 3 days he's been getting SOOO upset, unless he's got a dummy. We don't have a big issue with giving him a dummy in certain situations (we don't use it as a plug, to just shut him up), but the problem is he wakes up when it drops out. So now I'm standing there for 25 mins just plugging the thing back in . Yesterday I decided I was going to stop using the dummy and I held him and rocked him for 15/20 mins while he screamed and cried until he fell asleep. But I've done that for 2 days now and he's not showing any signs of getting used to not having the dummy. Tonight I caved in and gave it to him because I hate him being so upset. So my question/s are: is this some sort of phase (maybe to do with the 12 week growth spurt?)? Do I keep giving him the dummy, because it's better that he's not upset? Has he learnt to have the dummy to get to sleep and should I break this habit? If so, how do I do it with the least amount of distress for him? I'm worried that he will never learn to sleep for more than 1/2 hour because he won't be able to re-settle if the dummy has fallen out. I really HATE having to stand there and keep sticking the blasted thing back in his mouth . . . the 'free' time is so limited, you know??? And I'm thinking about the laundry or trying to get lunch. . . . Hope all this makes sense, sorry it's so long!


  2. #2

    Default

    As far as I know some babies really have a need to suck something to relax enough for sleep. I read somewhere (can' remember where) that its a bio-chemical thing; the sucking stimulates the production of happy stuff. According to this source the sucking changes at around 5-6 months into a psychological drive rather than a physiological one so that's a good time to wean from the dummy.
    Yasin still has his dummy for sleep and stressful sitations and he's nearly 2 - I find it really usefull in that when I get the dummy out it acts as a sleep trigger so personally I don't think that its nessescary to break the habit.
    Then again its a PITA if your bubba wakes up wanting his dummy in the middle of the night.
    I know how frustrating it can be to keep putting the dummy back in and to stand around waiting for a baby to sleep while all the things that you need to do keep going around in your head. I've found that for me one of the best solutions has been to accept that babies can't just turn off, so I have to find ways to distract/relax myself. If you get a comfy chair and a good book (or put on a DVD, or ring someone) and sit down beside his bassinet and enjoy your book (or DVD or conversation) you might find that the 25 minutes will pass much faster.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    Default

    Thanks Dachlostar. I guess I'm confused because he seemed to be getting the hang of getting to sleep on his own. I was so happy about this because it had been such hard work before and it seemed that things were improving. Now I feel like we're going backwards! I really don't mind spending the time helping him, but not if it's a kindof dead-end street and he's not going to learn to get there on his own IYKWIM? Also, I don't know if it's just a temporary thing to do with a growth spurt and I should just go with it?

  4. #4
    muma Guest

    Default my son is 9weeks old

    hey there, my son lachlan is 9weeks old, he is a very good sleeper at night most nights. during the day he wont sleep without his dummy, i dont think its a bad thing because its like a security thing. im not sure wether you breat feed but if not thats more then likely why your son likes his dum because its a security thing.
    i dont mind that lachlan has a dummy as long as he doesnt start wanting it at night time

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Rural NSW
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    Default

    My first two children had dummies and it was quite hard to wean them... infact our almost 3yo still needs one at bedtime about half the time. So far our new baby hasn't wanted one and I'm kinda glad. I remember going through what you are going through and I just stuck with it but it doesn't necessarily stop when they can put it back in themselves. Even when they are 2yo they will wake at night and cry for you to get the dummy that has fallen out of the cot onto the floor... or is lost in the sheets. I agree with the suggestion to wean at 5 - 6 months... sounds like a really good idea. Good luck!

  6. #6
    angelique Guest

    Default

    Hi there,

    I understand your frustration. Mine loves the dummy as a comfort thing more than anything to get from one sleep cycle to the next in the day and In the beginning of her nightime sleep. I also put it in her mouth to extend her feeds to a later time. She spits it out when she does not want it so I dont think she is obsessed with it, but I did have to go to sleep school to get her sorted. I guess you gotta do what you gotta do as the sleep deprivation is hard and you find the most easiest solution for you both.

    Try puttin the radio station 2CH on day and night and see how you go as a distraction thing, or a radio station with nice easy listening music. You could also try settling without the dummy for a certain amount of time at each sleep and then in the end if you need to, use the dummy. Just try if you want to. Good luck.
    Last edited by angelique; September 13th, 2006 at 10:25 AM.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Canberra, Australia
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    Default

    Lucy was the same when younger - and in fact still does cry when the dummy falls out to a certain extent. But once she's asleep properly if it falls out then she's fine.

    I personally find it's worth it, as it's such a comfort to her. And her relliance on it during the day, or non-sleep time has reduced as she gets older, as I gather you may be picturing an older baby with a dummy in it's mouth ALL the time

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