'Feed to sleep' babies and day care??

[skeetaboat]

I'll be gone 7am to 4pm so he'll probably be missing two big feeds but I'd say he'll only notice because he needs them to sleep! He's just too busy these days to slow down for boob anyway. I am trying now to encourage water from his sippy cup and he's getting the hang of it I think. Solids..are slow going right now, too much milk!

I think you'll find that not being able to have those feeds will be more upsetting to him than getting to sleep. I used to leave my DS with my mum for study between about 7 and 9 months and was gone around 5 hours. He would 'sort of' take a bottle of EBM. In the beginning my LO would get to the point where he just *needed* a breastfeed. I'm pretty sure he adjusted in time but I also remember my DH having him sometimes when I had night classes (gone 5 hours again) and being exasperated by the time I got home. I wish I could remember more clearly how it went, what age he was and when it stopped

Anyway, my point is, I think it'll be worthwhile trying to cut down those feeds or replace them with a bottle/sippy cup so he gets used to breastfeeding on the 'new' routine. I know my DS was a bit younger at the time than your LO will be, but I think it will help. Having said that, don't stress and feel like you have to completely eliminate those feeds within 2 months or else it's not going to work. If he's not enjoying solids yet it might take some time to convince him to drop the feeds, and you don't want to rush him because he's still young and it's not uncommon for 8 month olds to still be on 90% BM/Formula.

Also, when his dad has him in those first few weeks, it'll be at home, right? Because he'll be at home in his own environment, he'll be expecting his usual routine and will probably be more upset with DH than he would be in daycare, where he wont have expectations. Just wanted to throw that in so you don't stress out if the first couple of days he's with DH are hard.

Hope this post isn't too negative.. I just don't want you to feel like it's going to go perfectly fine because then if/when DH has some difficulty you think 'oh god I can't work, all those women on BB said it was fine for their babies but mine just isn't coping'. Just want you to know that intially he might be a little bit upset, but he will adjust quite quickly, particularly if you prepare him. And you never know, your bubs might be perfectly fine with the changes and not bat an eyelid.

[Janie]

Actually, many mums find that they can still breastfeed their LOs when they are with them, and the baby is fine when mum is away from them.

I don't want to discount your experience skeetaboat, as obviously that's how you found things went for your DS. But I wouldn't be recommending that a mum try to cut down feeds, simply because 3 days out of 7 she won't be there to offer them. In fact some babies cope better when offered more breastfeeds while mum is around.

Panda, you do need to do what you think will work best for you, and if that's reducing feeds, then fine. But if you think that will work against you, then don't worry about it. Plenty of us have still offered those daytime feeds whilst with our baby, and our babies have been fine the times we are not with them. Yep, you might find that he is very keen for a big feed when you get home, but that's okay! It's a lovely way to reconnect after being apart for hours .

[Panda74]

No, not too negative skeetaboat! I need to know! You could be right, DS had a couple of sucks on a bottle last night with DH and then a BIG drink on the boob, poor Dad. I'm definitely going to do some trial runs away for a few hours so we can see how DS and DH get on. I hope you're right Janie, the LAST thing I feel like doing right now is dropping feeds, I feel bad enough as it is.. You know I naively thought that we'd be done with breastfeeding by 9 months! I had no clue! Now I have all these things to consider e.g do I express at work? Not looking forward to THAT talk with my boss.. One thing at a time though and I still have 6 weeks (and lotto tickets).

Panda

[skeetaboat]

Janie.. I agree & thanks for pointing that out. Definitely just do whatever works for you.. every baby is different.. that was just my experience. My DS was a mega boobie monster which is probably why he didn't cope too well.

Also apologies to Panda - I thought you were returning to full time work rather than part time.. so the need to get him adjusted isn't as great. Just to clarify, I meant to recommend getting bubs used to taking those feeds from a bottle or sippy cup rather than cutting them out.. at 8 months he still needs plenty of boobie juice!

Good to hear that some bubs don't miss their feeds at all when mum returns to work Janie.. I didn't realise that could happen.. I hope you've got one of those Panda (hopefully my DS2 will be one of those too!!)

[cjsmum77]

Panda74, I am soooooo relieved reading your post I have the same problem. My daughter is 9 month and she won't nap without boob. She'll need to go to daycare at 1 year old and I've been worried that she won't be able to have any naps without me. Worse, she won't take bottle (I've tried!).
I am sooo glad I am not the only one who feed my bub to sleep , I've been feeling like such a bad mum.

[Panda74]

Hey you're not a bad Mum! I will let you know how we go in December when I leave DS with DH. I've decided to start out with a few half days at work just in case things are a bit messy.

We could be in the same boat with the bottle. I've tried three times in the last week with a bottle and DS has taken it once from DH (DH was very excited!), so I will keep trying as he may not have been hungry those other times and I also used a different teat - I think he liked the fast flow teat better (would help if I could tell which one I gave him!). He's also starting to use a sippy cup though so we have that to fall back on.

As I said I will let you know how we go in December and then in January with daycare and hopefully put your mind at ease a little!