I think there is a big difference between "controlled crying" and a baby that fusses or cries for a few seconds. My kids have never liked the cuddle to sleep thing, they like their own space. I've tried feeding to sleep (but with overactive letdown it was impossible... I never experienced a baby falling asleep at the boob), I tried co-sleeping (and I just tried tonight as Seth isn't well atm, and he fussed and fluffed about so I fed him again and put him back in his cot and now not a peep) and the only thing that would work for either of my children is cot settling. Which means they can get upset when you put them down in the cot but within a few seconds (sometimes minutes, any longer and I know somethings wrong) they have calmed down and we generally leave the room at this point. Sometimes I'll need to go in and resettle other times (like just now) out like a light. I think the thing to note is that it is all baby led for us. We know our babies, we listen to their cues and we know that 45 mins of screaming and arching in our arms or beds isn't working, so he maybe get upset initially at the idea of bedtime (I'm yet to find a child who doesn't whether they co slept/rocked etc or not) he calms down very quickly. We believe in comforting a child rather than leaving them to cry. So whilst others would say leave the baby to cry, if one of our children cry we go to them and stay with them till they are calm. And I know when its a fussing cry or a pick me up cry and we'll work with that. The most "Gentle" thing for me is not about training your child but about listening to them, to their needs and what suits them. But I also respect that parents need to do what suits them emotionally too. So yes I think its fine for a baby to cry, and IMO thats not ungentle.

Now please don't attack me either LOL as this is just my humble opinion

*hugs*
Cailin