I would definitely say a bedtime routine is going to help. But I really think this needs to be a slow and steady process. Seeing that she's 2.5 she's so used to having mummy there and it would be quite distressing if you're not iykwim? I'd suggest maybe lying with her till she falls asleep. Trying not to fall asleep yourself and then perhaps get back up again? Bringing bedtime forward I would say do that slowly too maybe 30 mins at a time, being that 30 mins till she's used to it and then move down another 30 mins. I wouldn't recommend going straight from 9 till 7:30 iykwim? Another thing is role play. Get her teddies or dolls and role play about bedtime, have her read baby a story brush teeth, have cuddles with mummy and then have her lie down with her baby till it falls asleep then maybe have her get up and pretened to do the washing or dishes LOL something boring (so she doesn't feel if mummy does that she's missing out on a party LOL) then maybe send little mummy back to bed. If you don't want to use dolls play role reversal where you be dd and she be's the mum. Not only is it fun but its an easy way to teach her what to expect. Its going to be lots of baby steps for it to be successful IMO not only just for her but for you so its not distressing on either of you. It can be done its just going to be a slow and steady process With regards to dinner I'd perhaps leave the table with DD when she's finished and your finished rather than when DH is finished.

Oh also cut back on some afternoon naps or make them earlier in the day or shorter, and perhaps have a really busy day the first time you try this that way she'll be well and truly ready for bed

Goodluck! If I think of anything else I'll post.

*hugs*
Cailin