GP ruining my confidence.

[Lolli]

Hi all,
I've been pretty confident about my whole parenting approach lately. I rock bubs to sleep, we co-sleep, and I still feed him every three or four hours at night. Maybe they are comfort feeds, but I think that's a good enough reason to feed him. If he wants comfort and that's what does it for him, I'm his mum and I think that's my job. The night feeds really don't bother me, I'm used to them and I just feed him laying down in bed, so I hardly wake up.
But when I went to my GP for vaccinations, I mentioned we were still doing night feeds. He told me that I shouldn't be, that we should definately drop a night feed. That ds is only sucking for comfort, not cause he's hungry. That his cot should be in his own room, and he definately should not be sleeping in my bed. Why? Because he will be crawling soon and then I'll really be exhausted, and I'll need my sleep. How to drop feed? 'Comfort settling'. (I hate that phrase- I don't think there's anything comforting about letting a baby cry).
It just destroyed all the confidence I had in myself and what I'm doing. I keep telling myself that I know I'm doing the right thing, but I do like my GP and he just made me feel like I was indulging bad habits and not doing it 'right'.
I'm doing the right thing aren't I? (That's what I really want to hear).

[MantaRay]

LR, please don't be discouraged. Feeding in the night is a problem only if you think it's a problem. If you are ok with it, then it's not a problem. Your bub is so little yet, just 6 months, I think feeding in the night is pretty normal. Your GP probably sees mums all the time who don't want to be feeding in the night, so he automatically gives advice to reduce the feeding. But it sounds to me like you are doing a great job, and are happy with the way things are going. So, as the saying goes, if it ain't broke, why fix it?

Keep up the great work hun.

[jmmum]

Sounds like yu are doing a fantastic job and your little boy is so lucky to have such a loving mummy.
I'm sure once your DD is up and crawling he will make up his own mind to drop feeds. If you are looking after yourself I don't see that it really matters that he still has night feeds. My DD stopped night feeds at about 8 weeks. I have her in my bed when she wakes in the morning just so we get a chance to have those precoius cuddle times. They grow up all to soon. Just keep up the good loving. Great work!! Take care!

[Snacks]

LR, yes, you are doing the right thing
If your GP is making you second-guess yourself, sometimes its best not to disclose that sort of info, KWIM? (If you feel particularly attached to your GP, that is... Maybe you could see someone who's more inclined towards your method of parenting?) Or just say, 'thanks, but I'm really happy with the way we're going'.
Plus, I reckon those drs who recommend CC techniques to parents who are happy with the amount of sleep they're getting are doing their patients a disservice - CCing is absolutely fricking exhausting. Both physically and mentally. You only do it if you feel like you have to, and have no other choice.

ETA: I do agree with Astrid. Drs who are more 'gently' inclined are few and far between. My dr was really good in that the only thing she said about sleep was, 'bah, mine didn't sleep through until they were at least 1... Perhaps they were older? I can't remember now!' etc etc. It really reassured me

[Astrid]

Yes you are doing the right thing, you are doing what makes both bubs and yourself happy. GP's have a good knowledge of medical issues, but they are not really parenting experts. I personally have found the ones who support the more gentle forms of parenting are quite rare. We sometimes have to find support we need from multiple sources.

Be strong and keep doing what works for you.

[Mum0809]

Yes, you are doing the right thing. I only told two people I co-sleep with ds and they made me feel like I was the worst mum and I was putting my son in danger, so now I don't tell people I co-sleep. Do what makes bubs and yourself happy. You are doing a great job!!!

[christy]

*pfft* to the GP. You sound like you are doing a great job, just because Western medicine and 5% of the world does it his way, doesn't mean you have too.

[~Raven~]

Feeding in the night is a problem only if you think it's a problem. If you are ok with it, then it's not a problem.

I agree with this! It's your bub and you getting up in the night. I can't see why he lectured you like that unless you asked for advice on how to stop it!

[Ezz]

Everyone is going to have their own opinions - they are entitled to them - but that doesn't mean you have to follow them! You know your DS the best & you know what you are comfortable doing. There is no point trying to implement any strategy/technique that you aren't comfortable with - because you will feel awful & chances are it won't work anyway (because bubs will pick up on your stress).

I recently had the same doubts when a couple of tresillian nurses told me I was doing the wrong thing. But, after a couple of hours of doing what they suggested, I decided to stick with my normal settling techniques & I'm so glad I did. DS is back to his usual beautiful self & I feel comfortable in my gentle parenting style. I just wish I had had the confidence to trust my instincts to begin with!

Keep doing what you feel is right hon

[krisp]

My DD is 7 months old and she is still getting 2 overnight feeds. Yes everyone tells me she doesn't need, she's not actually hungry! What rubbish. She is hungry, if she wasn't she wouldn't finish 2 full bottles. She's not interested in solids yet and again I get told she won't eat if she is getting 2 bottles overnight.I'm happy feeding her, she settles easily and we all go back to sleep. What's wrong with that. She'll sleep through when she's ready and she'll eat when she's ready!