don't be so hard on yourself, we are first time mums (well me and u are anyway) and it is all about learning.... kas put it so well, before a routine was the answer, and now maybe it isn't.... it has worked well for you for some time, now maybe its time for a change, don't feel selfish or bad because of that.

what happens if (sorry is it a boy bub or a girl bub?) he/she only sleeps for the 40 minutes? can she then get up for a play for a while until she is tired and then maybe have another 40 minute nap? does she go down into the pram awake, or is she put in it asleep....?