Hi all. My beautiful baby daughter is almost seven weeks old. During her first few weeks she was happy to sleep for up to 3 hours in a stretch in her bassinett after being cuddled to sleep. However, in the last two weeks she wakes up as soon as I put her down and will not have a bar of it. The only place she wants to sleep in on my chest - with her belly against my chest. Wrapping/swaddling doesn't seem to work for her - just results in a lot of grunting as she tries to get out of the wrap (usually successful). I have a gro-bag but even that is not working.
My gut instinct is to just let her sleep with us - but am worried about safety of doing this, so would love some suggestions/advice. If anyone does co-sleep can you let me know what you do to make it as safe as possible.
Not getting much support from my own family - my mother told me I need to start being a 'mother' - and let her cry for a while - wtf?
For starters...forget everything anyone ever said about it.......negetive, nuetral or positive
What do YOU and your DH want to do? What do you feel is right for the 3 of you?
I understand that there are dangers...but the benefits are rich and rewarding. The bonding for both parents is just precious, the comfort in knowing that she is happy sleeping so close with you. The sleep all 3 of you will get.
Their only babies for such a short time.....make the most of it and remember this time as a lovelt enriching experience between you, instead of misserable, upsetting and tiresome.
If it works for you, then do it! There is no way I would have gotten half the sleep I have had in the past year if not co-sleeping...I just used to hold DS in my arms, when he stirred I was instantly awake....we now part co-sleep (with him in our bed) the cot is right next to our bed (which is technically classed as co-sleeping ) once he falls asleep in our bed, I move him to the cot, started doing that as he woke one morning ad now that he can crawl, managed somehow to not wake either Dp or I and dive bombed off the bed!
There are little cosy sleeper things that you can buy, like little soft bassinets with sides etc, that go in your bed for the baby to go into, never used one, but they look good.
Hun, being a mother is all about knowing our children, listening to our instincts and doing what is right by them. Noone else can tell you what this means, it's like a secret conversation between you (and your partner) and your child.
The No Cry Sleep Solution contains a useful rundown of safety dos and don'ts. Basically, it's pretty common sense:
Keep pillows & blankets away from baby's face
Don't sleep with your baby if drunk or otherwise intoxicated or if you've taken medication that might make it hard for you to rouse.
Don't co-sleep on the couch or someplace where they can roll and get caught between cushions.
I think you should also be careful if you or your partner are very obese.
There's some other stuff I can't remember, but as I said, it really is common sense I think.
check out the SIDS website, i think they list all the safe co-sleeping guidelines.
if it is something you want to do and it will benefit you and your family, then do it, dont listen to anyone else! DD went through a stage of only sleeping on me during the day, and i now go by the mantra 'do whatever works!'. she is pretty good now, but occasionally i might put her into our bed if she won't settle after an overnight feed, if she wakes up at an ungodly hour of the morning (like 5am and i am so not getting up to start the day!), or if i want an afternoon nap as she tends to sleep longer if i am next to her.
Most parents do co-sleep at one time or another. they find, just like you have found, that babies are designed to sleep with their parents - and parents get tired and need some sleep too. Given that this is the case, it's better to make your bed a safe place to sleep. Never sleep with your baby if you are drunk or drugged. It's not advisable either, if you or your partner smoke. It's actually safer to sleep with her in your bed than struggle, exhausted out to the couch and fall asleep unintentionally.
And, co-sleeping is one of the simple pleasures of being a parent
Thanks so much everyone for your wonderful responses. We ended up co-sleeping last night and it was such a lovely blissful experience. We all slept very well and beautiful molly just wanted to cuddle up very close to me all night - how can there be anything wrong with that?
Help - should I co-sleep or not?
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hugs for starters.
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