How do I keep doing this? (long rant)

[Sammiejane]

I agree with Marcellus.
When MJ was about 8mths old she was eating dinner at about 4.30... Gradually it has been pushed back by sleep times and snacks as she has gotten older, but most days we have dinner (all together) at 5.30pm.
finished before 6pm, straight in the bath, out at 6.20-6.45 (depends on how she is in the bath) change, read in her bed room, feed and then bed. Most nights she is in bed between 7pm and 8pm depends on the day and her day sleeps.
I still dont walk out of the room until MJ is asleep... sometimes i am in with her for a while. I take her cues though, sometimes she wants me to sit there quietly next to her, other days she wants patting and singing... Sometimes she crys before sleep and she ususally always crys when she wakes.
Winding down didnt always work with us too - sometimes she seems to get more and more hyper... basically this was when she was tired - the more they are tired the more they seem to jump around and get excited.


Honestly you little one sounds very similar to how MJ was... she never slept longer than 45 mins and honestly i felt like i must be doing it all wrong cos everyone else seem to have a good sleeper and then there was us (maybe we were just the honest ones thou!!!)
The other thing i started to do was pre empt the sleep sycle, so for a week i would creep into MJ's room and sit next to the cot, as soon as she stirred i would pat and shush and she usually went straight into the next cycle. I did this when she dropped to one sleep and was still only haveing a 45min nap - after a week, i could stay out of the room, but was nearby in case she did waken - i would quickly go in, and try and resettle.
Sometimes she would try and get up and it would take a bit of settling, but i KNEW that she was still tired and needed more sleep and so perservered - but if she got really upset i stopped.
Dont know if any of these things will hel[.

But it sounds pretty normal to me - and yes it does get better, but it takes time

[Curly]

Tish - like others have said - "do what works". If it's the pram and the sling for a little bit to get some longer sleeps into him - do whatever you have to do.

We are another family that does dinner at 4.30pm.

In terms of tired signs - we found with DS that we had to strike like ninjas because there was a very narrow window of opportunity to get DS to go to sleep - we worked out we had about 15 minutes max from the first yawn to get him into his sleeping bag and start settling him off to sleep, otherwise we would have to wait another couple of hours till he was soooo exhausted before we knew we would have any kind of success.

Re feeding off to sleep - I did that for every single sleep and every time he woke up during the night until he was 18 months old! I would let him go till he was practically in a coma. That meant I could be sitting there for ages with him just kind of "nibbling" away until I could detach him without him being aware of it. I used to just try and chill out to his lullaby CD and enjoy the peace and quiet. I could never leave him in the cot to just drift off. DD yes, DS no way.

I would also like to add that I too also have enjoyed DS' toddlerhood far more than his babyhood. I had all the wailing banshees telling me "just wait till he's a toddler" "just you wait till he's walking" "just wait till you can't shut him up" etc etc.

None of it has come to pass. The day DS started walking my life changed tremendously for the better. I didn't have to carry him, he was so happy to toddle along beside me. He never runs away from me at the shops. He has truly been a delight. Yes, he's had his moments - we had a small biting phase and a small headbutting phase but we came down hard on that and it was very shortlived. He's never been aggressive with other toddlers, no hitting or kicking or snatching of toys. I have very rarely raised my voice to him. I am the only mummy I know who DOESN'T own a "Toddler Taming" type of book. I just haven't needed it.

Good luck Tish! Just remember that you aren't alone, that there are other mummies out there trying desperately to get their babies to sleep too. And remember to ignore the comments from people who have never had a difficult sleeper or imply it is because you are a first-time mum "and don't really know what you're doing". They just don't get it. I can honestly say that after having DD, I can understand why people who have never had a difficult sleeper think it's the mother's fault. I reckon it is 90% down to the temperament of the baby.

[Tish]

Hi guys

I've been trying to make sure that his bed time is stricly 6.45-7pm. It's only been a few nights so hard to tell. Plus it's been a full moon, and I think he's having a growth spurt (wants to feed at 2 or 3am rather than 6am). So I'm just accepting that's what nights are for the time being LOL. Between full moon, growth spurt and teeth poor little bugger has a lot to deal with!!

And that's ok, because...... day sleeps are heaps better in the last day or so! I hired an amby and it turned up the other day. The biggest difference is that he *wants* to go in there (only because it's bouncy and fun, but hey whatever works!) , whereas he would start screaming 3 inches above the cot mattress because he didn't want to be there. After a bit of self bouncing he wears himself out and goes to sleep. **** what a relief! What an amazing contraption - when he wriggles or stirs it jiggles and bounces, so he goes back to sleep. I don't know why I didn't get one of these months ago..... Even if this only works for a few weeks it will be wonderful. Yesterday he had 2x 1.5 hour sleeps with no crying or fighting (I had to bounce him after 45 mins, but he didn't cry). As you suggested Sammiejane after 40 mins I just sat by his door waiting for the stir, ready to swoop.

Curly I find your comments really heartening - lol @ wailing banshees.

Thanks guys again for the support and ideas, and mostly the kick in the butt I needed to actually start doing something to make his sleeping better rather than just complaining about it.

Hopefully after a few days of good day sleeps (I don't think he's ever done 2x 1.5 before) we'll both start to feel a bit better. I'm completely exhausted and fighting with DH about sleep - not a good place to be.

Tish
xx

[onthefly]

Ah, this is good!
It's true, I think, that some kids are just more sensitive to things than others that may result in disturbed sleep. Seems like there's always something keeping DS from sleeping!
All you can do sometimes is just make the most of whatever you can get!
And, think I may have to get one of those amby things next time

[Tish]

Most definitely - and I know where he gets it from - I'm exactly the same. I think like someone said earlier, we're used to 30 or 40 mins - anything more than that is wonderful.

OMG re the amby. Early days like I said, but he just did 2.25 hours - I don't think he's ever done that? They're cheap to hire - at least I can give it back if it stops working. The brochure says kids up to 2 years use them - maybe would work for you too?

[onthefly]

ok, now i HAVE to get one...
2.25 hours!!! that's phenomenal

[Tish]

I know! After the initial resettle at 40 mins he cried out 2 or 3 times, and I barged in ready to say "good mooooorning moopy!" and he was asleep again LOL

The lady I spoke to at the hire place said they often don't work for older babies, but I figured given his propensity to sleep in the pram and sling it might still work for us. I've hired for one month, and given it's still working I'll do it for another 3 - still much cheaper than buying one

When I was looking for a place here in Melbourne a Perth place kept coming up - google baby hammock hire in australia - hope it helps you!

Not sure how long he'll keep it up, but while he's happy I'm happy

Tish
xx