Is it possible you can sit next to DD1 in bed while feeding DD2 and read to her or just sit with her listening to music while you feed bub? My girls are in the same room now and I found when I first moved them in together for the night feeds when DD1 would wake up with bub, I would sit on the end of her bed or next to her and feed her till bub was done and could give her what she needed.
i am currently 37 preggers and have a nearly 2y.o. who just graduated from a week at sleep school and now does wonderfully in his own toddler bed, sleeping the night through.
... so this is the low down. you will probably have a few nights (hopefully less) hard time, but the basis of what we did at sleep school was to move him out of our bed and into his own bed/room all night. At first we had to shut the door, going in every few minutes to reassure him when he got really upset.... but by the second night, he was ok with it, it only took 20 mins to settle him and by the 3rd night, we just shut the door and didn't have to go back in.
I'm sorry but i think you need to have some tough love and shut the door/get a baby-safe gate and basically put your kid in the room. It doesn't mean you can't go in now-and-then to comfort her if she is beside her (i'm not a CIO advocate, but each to her own).... but this is what worked for us. Before sleep school, I thought there was no way my DS would ever be sleeping in his own bed all night - but now he is - miracles can happen!
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