I love my Seven Week Old Son, but I just want him to sleep
Everything was going swimmingly until the middle of Week 5. It was like he woke up and decided sleep was for the weak. Having one or two sleep cycles if that then screaming.
The evenings are the worst. We put him down at around 6 depending on his feed time. He just will not sleep until his next feed at 9 pm. We manage to keep him relatively quiet in his cot and have to settle every five minutes or so. After that his 9 pm feed he cries - hard. I know he is overtired, but we really are doing everything we can!
I know it's just a growth spurt, development phase or whatever - it's still tough. Day in and day out of a non-sleeping baby that cries lots.
Combined with a husband who at times suggests to 'let him cry, he has to learn' and I feel like cracking.
So yeah, that's my vent. Any stories of hope would be appreciated!
Awww Hunni, can you curl up in bed with bubs and see if he'll sleep with you? Are you breastfeeding? If so, give him unlimited access to you boobs and see if that helps.
I hope this passes for you soon, it sounds like a Wonder Week to me.
Co-sleeping is not an option for us (husband is very heavy sleeper and we have cats) and I am not breastfeeding.
That being said, he's not too bad at night. Generally manages 4 hour stretches. I suspect from exhaustion rather than being a good sleeper.
I know I shouldn't be complaining. I'm not particularly sleep deprived and I have plenty of support to have a break when it gets too much. Just the constant battles during the day and evening are wearing me down.
it is sooo hard when they wont sleep and you are exhausted! My ds would not sleep from 5pm onwards - the only thing we could do to comfort him was to rock him with his tummy on my, or DH's arm - god I wish I had a sling then (just got one at 5months). When he finally went to bed in his cot, he would cry, and DH and I would be just standing over him trying to comfort him and then suddenly he would just stop and sleep - from exhaustion, just like your son. Since having DS, I have not had one nap during the day - I am only now getting DS to have a day sleep longer than 30 mins (except when he was in his first 5-8wks and was still geting over the effects of being jaundiced)! I also hated hearing ds cry, and he does not get himself worked up, just has an on/off switch! We also would not co-sleep and I was bottle and breast feeding and was in alot of pain with the BF so feeding to sleep was not an option for us.
I dont think that there is any magic answer. For me, I had to learn a few things 1. to put him down earlier and not let him get over tired - I was not good at identifying his tired signs so would leave it too late making it hard for him to settle 2. make sure nothing is wrong with your baby - my ds had eczema which I kept getting told was 'newborn/hormone rash'...it was not until 12wks that it was diagnosed and treated and by that time ds did not know how to settle to sleep! 3. learn when ds was crying out of frustration (ie overtired by not able to self settle) vs distress and try and just be there if he needed me during a frustration phase so that he was not alone - might be in the room with him making soothing sounds but not looking him the eye/picking him up, but picking him up when distressed. To be honest, I found a sleep school that were not into control crying and that would let me go to him whenever I felt the need, but they gave me skills to help him learn to settle. He is still not great during the day (but better than he was and is now a 'happy baby'), BUT, he is now sleeping during the night and that makes a big difference...I think he was about 13wks when that first happened and it was for 3 nights in a row, and I was like a new person...oh through the nite was from 8.30pm - 6am. He still now often does not go to bed till 8-8.30pm and I dont try and get him to sleep from between 5pm - 7pm - just ends in tears I(his and mine) - I strech out play/bath/feed time (ds is bottle fed) at this time. During the day, I have gotten better at leaving him 2-5mins after a sleep cycle to see if he will resettle - he often crys out and if I go in to comfort him will wake fully - if I watch him from the door (I changed the nursery around so I could see him fully in his cot from the door) then often he wakes and now resettles - but it took time and I still sometimes go in too early and wake him up.
I guess I know that I am never going to have a great day sleeper, but when you dont get a nap during the day PLUS you are up at night, it is hell, and for me contributed to PND. My fingers are crossed that you little one soon gives you a good night sleep - each time they drop a feed it is just that bit easier. I am still tired, but not dead tired!
Not sure if this helps, but there is light at the end of the tunnel (and it is not a train)...it is just such a hard time and I know that it seems that it will never end. I really wish I could have just had a 12wk old...if they could promise me that I might go back for a second!
Our babies are the same age. She has been like this over the past week, but is just turning the corner now. I have found that when she first starts grizzling a little bit, its time to pick her up and give her her dummy and rock her to sleep. If I wait like, 10 minutes after that first grizzle, she'll start to really cry, and then its hard as all heck to get her to go to sleep.
Sometimes she turns her head back and forth, so I sometimes feel that she is sick of me holding her, so I put her in her bed and pat her on the back instead. Most times that works, but if it doesn't, I'll get her up and try something different. Bouncing on the side of the bed with her in my arms works too.. or just walking around the house with her in a sling works... or just walking around the house talking to her sometimes works. In fact, thats how I used to put DD1 to sleep, I would pretend that I didn't really WANT her to go to sleep, so I wasn't getting frustrated or anything (cos they can pick up on that) so I would just walk casually around the house, and talk to her, and sorta be silly, like we were looking for our cats, so we were going on a cat hunt, she used to giggle, and then relax and then fall asleep.
I find if they are relaxed they fall asleep much easier. Sometimes I rub DD2 in between her eyes (chakra spot) and that seems to relax her.
Most nap times she wakes up after 20 minutes sleep, but I find if I go in there right on 20 mins and pat her back whilst she is just stirring, then I can get her to go for another sleep cycle or two.
Its awful when they won't sleep and you know they have to!!
Arimeh - Glad to see I'm not the only one! We do the dummy and rock the cot too. That being said, we've only agreed on those settling techniques in the last 48 hours. I'm hoping that consistency over the next few days will help. I also love my sling - when nothing else works that is a guaranteed. Helps me get things done too.
I just know what he's like when he gets overtired. It's almost impossible to get him to go to sleep.
I know there is a corner that I'm waiting to turn. Perhaps tomorrow is the day? I can only hope!
My "Mitchell" was much the same. In fact he was really tough for the first 3 months. We would take it in shifts to walk the house with him in a sling. Then when he was finally asleep we would try for a transfer to the cot - sometimes worked, sometimes didn't. He did turn a corner however - I think around 12 weeks. I know that seems like a long way off but it will go fast...Good Luck
I love my Seven Week Old Son, but I just want him to sleep
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