it is sooo hard when they wont sleep and you are exhausted! My ds would not sleep from 5pm onwards - the only thing we could do to comfort him was to rock him with his tummy on my, or DH's arm - god I wish I had a sling then (just got one at 5months). When he finally went to bed in his cot, he would cry, and DH and I would be just standing over him trying to comfort him and then suddenly he would just stop and sleep - from exhaustion, just like your son. Since having DS, I have not had one nap during the day - I am only now getting DS to have a day sleep longer than 30 mins (except when he was in his first 5-8wks and was still geting over the effects of being jaundiced)! I also hated hearing ds cry, and he does not get himself worked up, just has an on/off switch! We also would not co-sleep and I was bottle and breast feeding and was in alot of pain with the BF so feeding to sleep was not an option for us.

I dont think that there is any magic answer. For me, I had to learn a few things 1. to put him down earlier and not let him get over tired - I was not good at identifying his tired signs so would leave it too late making it hard for him to settle 2. make sure nothing is wrong with your baby - my ds had eczema which I kept getting told was 'newborn/hormone rash'...it was not until 12wks that it was diagnosed and treated and by that time ds did not know how to settle to sleep! 3. learn when ds was crying out of frustration (ie overtired by not able to self settle) vs distress and try and just be there if he needed me during a frustration phase so that he was not alone - might be in the room with him making soothing sounds but not looking him the eye/picking him up, but picking him up when distressed. To be honest, I found a sleep school that were not into control crying and that would let me go to him whenever I felt the need, but they gave me skills to help him learn to settle. He is still not great during the day (but better than he was and is now a 'happy baby'), BUT, he is now sleeping during the night and that makes a big difference...I think he was about 13wks when that first happened and it was for 3 nights in a row, and I was like a new person...oh through the nite was from 8.30pm - 6am. He still now often does not go to bed till 8-8.30pm and I dont try and get him to sleep from between 5pm - 7pm - just ends in tears I(his and mine) - I strech out play/bath/feed time (ds is bottle fed) at this time. During the day, I have gotten better at leaving him 2-5mins after a sleep cycle to see if he will resettle - he often crys out and if I go in to comfort him will wake fully - if I watch him from the door (I changed the nursery around so I could see him fully in his cot from the door) then often he wakes and now resettles - but it took time and I still sometimes go in too early and wake him up.

I guess I know that I am never going to have a great day sleeper, but when you dont get a nap during the day PLUS you are up at night, it is hell, and for me contributed to PND. My fingers are crossed that you little one soon gives you a good night sleep - each time they drop a feed it is just that bit easier. I am still tired, but not dead tired!

Not sure if this helps, but there is light at the end of the tunnel (and it is not a train)...it is just such a hard time and I know that it seems that it will never end. I really wish I could have just had a 12wk old...if they could promise me that I might go back for a second!

Take care.
FG