I have been reading some of your other threads so this is my best advice for your situation. I can promise things will get easier & better. Sorry that this is so long but I remember how overwhelmed I felt when DS was this age too. FWIW it sounds like you are doing a great job & you have a lot on your plate so you need to be kind to yourself. The world won't fall apart if the house isn't clean.

...like you I was trying to have a routine & tried to get DS to sleep early in the evening so that DP & I can have some time together but I was really fighting a losing battle, I also tried to get him to self soothe but found that as he was feeding anywhere from every hour to 3 hrly, he was due for a feed before he went to sleep so I was in the vicous cycle & he wasn't getting very much sleep & was very cranky. This went on for a month or so & it was doing my head.
There were times I thought about rocking the cradle a little harder than I should, even smacking him cause then he had a reason to cry in those moments I always take a deep breath & count to 10 & the feelings pass & of course I would never do this but it is just so frustrating trying to get him to sleep when I either want to sleep myself, need some time to myself or need to get something done.
As I was told by the lovely BB ladies here babies aren't born with routines & at their age it isn't really that important. A routine will happen eventually.

So after trying to get DS to self soothe when he was little @ about your bubs age I started rocking/jigging him to sleep which has it's own curses. Now he is older & much heavier (over 8.5 kgs now) I have started putting him into the cradle awake & started the process of teaching him to self soothe again but as he is older it seems to be easier. It's like when they are little they need to be held & hugged & when they get a little older than they are more independant or something.

I would suggest going with the flow a little more, do what works & things will fall into place. Remember everyday is a new day & you can start things fresh everyday, just because yesturday was bad doesn't mean today will be.

Don't be so hard on yourself, I think we sometimes have unreal expectations of what bubs can do, some people have 'perfect' babies that sleep from 7 pm to 7 am, I haven't found many on here.

I suggest you concentrate on one period at a time to get through the day, he wakes, you feed him & play & try & get him to sleep within 60 - 90 mins of him waking or when he shows tired signs (my DS never did) & keep repeating that pattern all day. Try & enjoy those secret smiles when he is BF & take time out if you can to just stare into his eyes while you feed - trust me DS now takes less than 10 mins to feed & I miss that

What happens now is that our day usually start @ 8 - 9 am, he is up for 60 - 90 mins & then has a good morning sleep really easily so he usually sleeps for 90 - 120 mins & then he is awake again for 60 - 90 mins, when I put him back to sleep he will only sleep for 20 - 40 mins & I have to help him back to sleep with rocking the cradle. At night once he is down after 9.30 pm to 11pm he only wakes for a feed as this can be every 2 hrs on a bad night then I put him in with me to sleep it is just easier & we all get more sleep that way. It isn't like this all the time like when he goes through growth spurts which happens a lot & when he is out of sorts then I just go with the flow. If I haven't slept much the previous night I will have a sleep with him through the day - it's the only way I have survived

This is a routine he developed himself it isn't perfect & I would kill for 4/5 hrs straight sleep but I remember it won't be like this forever that it will end one day & I he won't let me kiss or hug him anymore .

Feel free to ask any q or VM (PM once you reach 25 posts) anytime, goodluck I things improve for you soon.