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Thread: need advice

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Perth Australia
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    Default need advice

    My baby has had sleep problems since 4 weeks old. He has never been one of those babies you can just place in the cot and he will roll over and go to sleep.
    It all starts when he gets up and ready for his first nap. He is tired about 1.5 hours after he wakes. I look for his tired signs ( rubbing eyes, pulling ears, yawning ) and I put him down. It can take up to 1.5 hours for him to sleep! I dont believe in controlled crying and I have read every book there is to read on sleep, nothing seems to work...
    I am getting sooo frustrated and on the verge of depression. I just cant take him not sleeping anymore... it is driving me crazy.He is nearly 9 months old and still not in a good sleep routine. We cant really go anywhere longer than 2 hours because he wont sleep in a pram or car and he never has. My husband I and I desperatly want to go away for a week somewhere but we think there is no point as we will be spending the whole holiday trying to get him to sleep. I feel I am hitting a brick wall and that i need some help. Everyone keeps saying, do controlled crying. I had a lady say to me that it was the best thing she ever did and if I just put the effort in, it would work!! I was about to knock her out!
    So if anyone can help me It would be much appreciated.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    Brisbane
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    Belle, big hugs hun. If it's any consolation, my DS that started off as a good sleeper turned into a bad one, and my DS that wouldn't sleep for 12 weeks is now a brilliant sleeper. So there is hope for you hun!! Also, let me reassure you, you can do this without cc.

    The first thing I would suggest, is to put him down for his first nap earlier. Both my boys used to need their first nap within an hour of getting up in the morning, some days they didn't make it past half an hour. My theory on this is that they needed a longer night sleep but woke up hungry. So maybe try that and see how you go.

    Also, I can recommend some great books for gentle sleep solutions. There is the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley, and Pinky McKay's book Sleeping Like a Baby are great value.

    Have you seen those? I wish you all the best, you will get past this hun.

  3. #3

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    I agree with mantaray, try putting him down earlier. Nina has always woken up, had a quick drink in the morning, then gone back to sleep for another hour, or more.
    Nina too was a shocking sleeper for the first 6 months, and now is fantastic, sleeping between 12-14 hours overnight, and 3 hours during the day. I never used cc on her, just perseveered with my techniques, always trying new things.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    melbourne
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    i third the going down sooner, sophie did the same back to bed within a hour of been up! put him down afer 1 hour and see how he goes! gooodluck

  5. #5

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    Yep, I say try to get him down earlier too! Oskar used to wake up, have a BF then go back to sleep for an hour or so. Even now if he wakes too much before a night of about 11 hours sleep then I will BF and usually can get him to go back to sleep for an hour or so. If he's BF, try that or a bottle then he might go back to sleep for a little while. Has he ever slept in a sling/HAB/ or the likes?? That might work and then transfer him to the cot?

  6. #6

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    He's old enough now to try homeopathy - it really turned the corner with DS and he can now self-settle in the complete darkness. Given that it's midsummer here I'm still helping him get to sleep at bedtime, but the very occasional 2am wake-up I don't even need to get out of bed, he just whinges that he's tired and goes back to sleep 90% of the time.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    DD also usually wakes between 5 and 6 (after 10-11 hours of sleep, with one feed at around 1am). I then take her into my bed where she gets a BF and then sleeps for another hour or two. So you could try that.

    And I also have to say that if she doesn't wanna go to sleep, I don't persist anymore. Not now that she's older. If she seems to resist sleep, I try and distract her, go for a walk around the block, then try again. Otherwise I just get too frustrated.

    I second the recommendations for those 2 books. I love Pinky McKay's advice, very gentle, but tangible suggestions.

    And I also second the sling idea. Your DS might be a little old to introduce them, though. So just try it out and see how you go. I'm not sure how strong you are. I could imagine if you haven't been doing babywearing regularly, starting with a heavy 9 months old might be tough. So make sure you get a really comfy one like a HAB or an Ergo. Especially the Ergo seems to be great with older bubs.

    Does he sleep in his car seat?

    Don't listen to the CC brigade. You have stuck it out for this long. An end is in sight. It might just need some gentle tweaking to your routines to make a difference.

    And for what it's worth, I don't personally know ANY baby that you can just put into their cots and they roll over and sleep. Upon further questioning, even the mums who insist on having ideal sleepers, admit to either a few night settling moments, or to continued crying or to the baby using props that they have been taught to use as mummy substitutes (like being extremely attached to a certain Teddy, or not being able to go anywhere without a dummy).

    I hope sleep will improve in your household soon.
    Sasa

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    Perth Australia
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    Thanks ladies for your advise. I have both sleeping like a baby and no cry sleep solution books and have tried everything but it does not change his habbits. He isnt too bad at night, he will sleep 12 hours with between 2-6 wake ups, but soon as I put the dummy in he usually rolls over and goes to sleep, unless he is teething. So Im not too sure if putting him down earlier for his first nap would work, as he has just had 12 hours, although Im willing to give anything a try!
    When he was little, he would only sleep in a sling but now there is no way he would stay in one of those, and he is also 11.6kgs!!
    I just get so frustrated during the day beacuse I know he should be getting 2 x 1.5 hours of naps and he only has 2 x 30 mins ( which takes me an hour or so to actually get him to sleep ) He cries when he wakes beacause he is so tired but he just refuses to go back to sleep. I know he can self settle as he sometimes does this at night time when I put him down, although it is proberly because he is so exhausted from the day. I have had his ear pressure checked and is all clear. The child health nurse doesnt know what else to suggest either. Some people say it is behavioural, but I wonder how can it be if he has been like this since 4 weeks old?

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Gold Coast, Queensland
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    Lots of hugs your way! It does sound like a difficult situation.
    My DD often sleeps for 13 o3 14 hours at night (with the extra couple of hours in the morning), so it is not impossible. Especially if she had a night where she woke up more than once or twice.
    In the daytime, at his age, she would sleep 2x 2-3 hours . So some babies just seem to need more sleep than others. But, when I took the luxury and had a nap with her, she'd sleep for up to 3.5 hours. By herself, she'd go for 2 hours max, and even that meant resettling her once. So could you try lying down with him every now and then (might be good for you, too).

    Some babies are easier aroused than others. So I wonder whether his short naps have anything to do with more noise around him (birds, cars, you washing dishes, etc.) and more light.

    Oh, and he surely is one big boy!

    Sasa

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