Thanks again ladies for your replies and support.

hope you've had some improvement since you last posted
Improvements? some, but then right back to where we were again more recently

I did have a bit of a breakdown a week ago after such a long time with broken sleep and a wingy little girl for a few days. My DH finally stepped up to the plate and worked on settling DD for a few days which made a difference. Without me going in to settle her there was no temptation for the breast. Unfortunately, he has been back at work at night for a few days and again, we are heading back to square 1 which means more frequent wakings....

I might be right of the mark here but could it be she isnt getting enough milk from you as she is 9.5 mths old and she is hungry re the wakfulness. (as adults it really hard to stay asleep when we are hungry so it would be the same for the wee little ones). Try formula and a bottle at night it may be the answer .... the formula may be thicker and making her feel full for longer re longer sleeps. I take it she is well and truly on solid food so maybe a huge dinner of mashed potatoe cheese and egg mashed all together and a bottle of formula just may do the trick.
Ainsley, thanks for your input, it is helpful to look at this from different perspectives. DD is happily eating solids and pretty stable in her bfs generally, and I am not really keen to use formula as I don't want to reduce my milk supply. My understanding of bfing is that there is no real reason to believe that DD should not be getting enough milk from me as she is still gaining weight properly and does not appear to be any more hungry than usual. I actually don't think it is hunger that is waking her as she randomly goes for long periods without a feed. From the way she is behaving now, waking, crying for the breast, sucking for sometimes only 2/3 mins and then back to sleep again, I really think it is just a bad case of breast/sleep association.
BTW: I have heard a few different opinions about the theory of feeding a big meal before bed.... some people have said feed them up in the evening to help them sleep through and others have said don't give them solids in the evening so their digestive systems don't have to work and potentially keep them awake at night...??? Not sure what makes sense here.?!??! Any opinions?

What worked for us was a technique in which you talk them into a calm state, and then let them learn to put themselves to sleep. It sounds too easy, but its worked so well, even with our very highly strung one! At no point do you leave them to cry - if they get upset you get them up and comfort them using whatever works for you - rocking, feeding etc - but they always go back into bed sleepy but awake.
Dee, thanks for the advice and reference. I wish I had come across that when we first came across this sleeping problem and when I still had the energy to pursue a solution!! I have tried your suggestions but she is just so against sleeping when we try to put her down. It involves tears, sitting/standing up, and ramps up to a feverish distress so quickly now. Every time I pick her up she is fine, its when I put her back down, hysteria starts again. I am still at the end of my tether with this whole settling, I really need a night or two of good sleep to feel able to approach it all again. After working on fixing this for over 3 months, I have now broken my original resolve of working this out myself and have booked into a sleep school. As much as I would like to do this my way, I am not able to be the mother I want to be during the day as I am just so tired and frustrated.