Kris -- I really feel for you as I am in the exact same situation and I have called Pinky and spoken with her on the phone.

I am not sure how old your bub is? My DS is 11mo and when I called her she basically told I had to suck it and see, in the nicest possible way, of course. I love Pinky and have a heap of her books and have gone to her sleep seminars before. Obviously while I love her, her books and seminar didn't 'solve' our problems.

The reason that she said this to me was that at his age there is little/nothing that will 'fix' this 'problem' unless I do CC (which I am now getting temped to do because as you know, it is VERY stressful!! But I am holding off and happily the wait lists are prohibitive anyway!). Her point is very valid -- he is at an age where it is all about teething and sep anx. Not that this was what I wanted to hear AT ALL. I begged her to come and help me -- after all I will pay her money!!! -- but she said that there is nothing she can do and I should try and survive until he is around 15 mo when things should change of their own accord.

Now I realise that this seems like HELL but I often think of it in my more lucid states (usually about now -- 330-4 on days when my parents are helping me!) and realise that I appreciate this honesty. She offers you feel good encouragement and that is GOLD. But she will not give you a fix if she can't. I won't lie and say I feel great about it. I have a number of bellybelly posts to show otherwise! But I feel good in the way that I am not an evil failure and that this seems normal.

I agree with the post that mentions our expectations. It is hard to overcome and we probably won't ... but be aware that we put pressure on ourselves.

In regards to the relationship issue-- as I have gone through the same (and now out the other side) try to talk when you can adn make that possible and try to NOT talk when you are overtired. I have started taking vitamins and it has helped my energy levels. Be gentle to each other and when you can't, just take a break from one another! Consider that you are both entitled to speak to a 3rd party about how you feel.

Oh good luck! I found Pinky positive and of course your situation is different to mine. Contact her she will be honest.

best to you

xxxx