Positive stories please!!!

[Loveinamist]

Hi

I need to hear some stories that will keep me going and give me hope. So far I am plagued with tales of 'people who did attachment parenting and were still carrying their four year old around trying to get them to sleep etc etc'

We cosleep with our 9 week old which we are both fine with. He is fed to sleep and goes off quite happily but that is the only way he goes to sleep. In the daytime he only sleeps in the carseat (which we use very rarely as I don't drive) or in his sling. In fact all his daytime sleeps are in the sling. Once or twice he has been fed to sleep on our bed in the daytime but they were very short sleeps, the longest being an hour! I have never seen him drop off to sleep unless he is in the sling or carseat. I have tried gently taking him out of the sling but he always wakes up. I have tried rocking, patting, swaddling and using a rocking swing. All have been unsuccessful. The closest to success was rocking him but he woke up as soon as I put him down. He just screams unless he is fed to sleep or in the sling.

Now when I have looked up advice or asked on BB everyone says use the sling etc which I am doing and it is manageable but what I need to know is does anyone have any stories of a baby that always needed the sling to sleep but eventually ended up self settling or sleeping somewhere else other than the sling?

[skybie]

oh hun, its so so hard and fustrating!
FWIW my bubby girl has just gone 6 months and sleeps on her own and can put herself to sleep (when she chooses to!)
we waited till the 4 month mark to start trying to put her to bed on her own whenever we saw tired tired signs, and she took to it like a champ, still has the odd da where she needs to be fed/cuddled to sleep but most of the time she does it on her own!

when she wakes for her 5-6am feed(after going to bed at 730-8ish) she comes into bed with me, sometimes she stays and snoozes with mumma but lately she's been quite restless and whingey in bed and is more happy to go back into her cot and sleep there.

In other words yes it is possible to get a co-sleeper into their own bed and slf settle. and no u wont be carrying around bub at 4!

[CrazyLady]

Poppyfairy- DD used to only sleep on me during the day or at night but now she actually goes in her cot no issues. I didn't have to do anything to get her there, I had to go to the loo real bad one day and put her in her cot and she didn't stir. I guess I just gave her that security and she felt safe.

Now the only time she needs to sleep with me is when she's about to cut a tooth or her reflux is giving her grief from teething.

HTH!

[Loveinamist]

Thanks guys! You have given me hope!!!

Well we do have progress!!! At the moment DS is sleeping soundly in his sidecar cot while I sit on the bed typing. He now is able to be fed to sleep in the day and will sleep without me there for about 20 minutes, sometimes half an hour and on one glorious day 2 hours!!!! He still gets his major sleeps in the sling when I am out and about but I no longer use it in the house. The big difference is he has sometimes stayed asleep after being transferred from sleeping on a shoulder or sleeping in the carseat. I even changed his nappy once while he was asleep and he didn't wake up. He grizzled but stayed asleep!!! His sleeps are still short but he usually wakes up refreshed from them so I guess he is getting what he needs!
At night he has recently started sleeping for about an hour in his sidecar by himself before we come to bed but I am still working on putting him back in there after nighttime feeds. I have to admit the first night he went in his sidecar I couldn't sleep and just kept watching him, wishing it was time already for his next feed as I missed him in the bed!!! I think this has all been possible because of his natural settling down since he has grown (that magical 3 month mark everyone was telling me to wait for!!) and hopefully because of the security I gave him by meeting his needs.

Thanks again!!!

[sneakysparkle]

hun - he is still soooo little - dont worry about creating any "bad habits" until closer to 12mths.

do whatever works - if he needs to sleep in the sling - let him! He's getting sleep! lol
Try not to worry about what anyone else says. I know its hard.

DD#1 was fed to sleep until she weaned at 14mths - now she is a 3 yr old who goes to bed happily at night
DD#2 is in the transition from being rocked to sleep to going to sleep in her bed. But she sleeps well in her own bed after co-sleeping part time since she was little.

Sorry this is a bit jumbled - I'm juggling the girls atm

[jackrose]

because of the security I gave him by meeting his needs.

Good for you, this is exactly what it is all about!

I have another success story here.

Co-sleeping and feeding to sleep successfully, now with a two year old who happily sleeps in her big bed.

I did not always feed to sleep, but just didn't get stressed if that was what happened.

I did find that at about 6 months - 8 months, the co-sleeping stopped working as well for us as DD was looking for the breast all night and was not settling properly as she just wanted to constantly feed. I was not getting any sleep so we then started her sleeping in her cot. I think that it is all about reading the signs and going with them. I will definitely be co-sleeping with my next one too - provided he/she wants to .

I think it is all about meeting needs and creating a happy self confident baby/child whatever your method. You sound as if you have it all worked out well!

[Starfish]

I am in a bit of a hurry, so will post properly later, but just to let you know:

1) Your bub is still so little. Do you even want him to sleep in a separate bed now? And I don't mean eventually, I mean right now - today - If not, then don't worry - there will come a time when he will want to sleep by himself. So enjoy those cuddles as they won't last forever...

2) DD co-slept and fed to sleep when she was younger. She is nearly 3 now and very very confident and falls asleep on her own, etc. Please refer to my point above - it may take two years for your DS to fall asleep by himself (DD went through phases before that, but it only after 2 that she consistently falls asleep without the boob, etc). It may take only a year, but regardless of the time - it will happen and it will be all over before you know it.

I believe that most kids learn to self settle naturally between the ages of 2-3, but some may take longer (hence the 4 year olds you mentioned), but they all learn eventually. Also, with the four year olds you're referring to - you don't know the full story - there may have been other medical/health/family issues at play, so please don't be quick to believe people who blame this on AP unless you know the full story.

Good luck.